Dear Journal –

I find myself at Cedric’s townhome nursing pain in my arm. The Professor says the pain will subside in time and that’s all we’re able to do right now. He doesn’t want me alone at the house isolated while I’m healing. I don’t like it but he’s probably right.

He also said that were times different, perhaps we’d have a way to heal me. But as we stand right now, there was nothing he could do for me –

(she stirred.)

(but she did not awaken.)

Cedric and I have been tasked with watching after the prisoner until she awakens. She is behind two layers of silver bars and stone alongside, so I do not fear.

I miss home but I know staying here is for the best. I suppose it means I will not be visiting Ivette any time soon. But that is fine. I do think I will contact her because it is I who has everything to lose. If I am totally honest with myself, I am an emotional person and it will be me who regrets not seeing her one last time before I make for the hills. I cannot know how long I will live but what if it is to be a long time? Will I be able to make my salutations when she is an old maid?


I must not let my fear set in. I still feel, I still fear, much like I did when I was mortal. I have changed so little, less than I hoped I would have.

I am ashamed that I let myself become injured in such a way. I was bold, thinking I could have distracted her. But all I did was allow myself to be lunged at. I have to get stronger. I have to. My friends depend on me.

The Professor said that Kali is a goddess who has degraded due to a loss of worship. Her power is derived from her followers. People today, he said, are less reverent than they have been at any point he can recall. Perhaps it is because the Gods refuse to show themselves. But I suppose that might be a feedback loop. If she shows herself, it is fear she receives, and not faith.

My arm aches but what else do I have to pass the time?

It reminds me of when I was a girl and I sprained my ankle. The injury has long since refrained from bothering me but it took a long time to heal. I was laid up in bed for a week because it wasn’t something they could do anything about. I just had to wait it out. Here I am, again, waiting it out. So little has changed in some ways.

Kevin said that his salves will work for his injury but will not work for mine. Am I actually undead? It is not the first time I have wondered such a thing but I am reminded of the Professor who always refuses such categorization. Death is true death, he says, and so long as we walk the Earth it has not come. The daylight will bring such an end to us. To think and behave as though we have already died is to welcome the End.

But why, then, am I immune to his magicks?

– Roxxie