// WIDOWSHILD TOWNHOME //


It’s a bewildering tour for Miss Friday Perkins. The house has a number of amenities not typically found in a Mundane’s house, namely an underground pool and what can only be described as a spacious, largely empty, lecture room.

The lecture room seems to have been repurposed to play poker.

Cedric, satisfied with himself, approaches Friday as she finishes her house tour with Mandarc in tow.

CEDRIC

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT.

WIDOWSHILD TOWNHOME.

I HOPE IT WILL BE MORE THAN ADEQUATE FOR YOUR NEEDS.


Of course it would be. This is one of the biggest breaks she’d received in years of work. Right here, right now, right close to the source of the mystery. And when she hadn’t even been looking. Right under her nose.

PERKINS

IT’S ASTOUNDING.

CEDRIC

MAYBE YOU AND WUNDERKIND CAN REPAPER SOME OF THE ROOMS.

IT’S PEELING IN A FEW SPOTS.

PERKINS

NEVER DONE IT BEFORE BUT I’M WILLING TO GIVE IT A SHOT.

CEDRIC

I DON’T THINK THE BOSS WOULD CARE, WOULD HE, MANDARC?


But Mandarc is hardly paying attention to their gossip. He is lost in a puzzle-box, one he’d found while shifting about the house. It’s three cubes square, and he’s flipping about the colorful panels to try to match same with same.

He’s nearly completed one side of the thing.

CEDRIC

…WOULD HE, MANDARC?

MANDARC

OH? UM.

NO, I DON’T THINK HE WOULD CARE.

CEDRIC

SO CALL ME UP, YOU KNOW, IF YOU GET THE PAPERIN’ ITCH.

OR WHATEVER.

HERE’S MY NUMBER.


Cedric leans over to punch his phone number into Friday’s cellphone.

PERKINS

YOU TWO REALLY WORK FOR THE SAME PROFESSOR?

CEDRIC

YEAH, WE DO.

I BEEN WORKIN’ FOR OL’ SOCK GARTERS A LITTLE LONGER THAN MANDARC.

ISN’T THAT RIGHT, MANDARC?

MANDARC

YES. FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH.

CEDRIC

MEANS I’M PRIME PRIORITY WHEN IT COMES TIME TO AWARD PENSION.

MANDARC

I DON’T THINK EITHER OF US WILL BE GETTING PENSION ANY TIME SOON.


Each seems to ponder a moment on his own destiny.

CEDRIC

WELL ANYWAY, I GOTTA RUN. HIT THE HAY. SKEDADDLE.

HERE YOU GO, FRIDAY.


He lifts the set of keys from his pocket and sets them genially in Friday’s outstretched hand. Then as making motion for the door, he points at her.

CEDRIC

I’M SERIOUS ABOUT THE HOME IMPROVEMENT.


Cedric makes the sign of the telephone with his hand.

CEDRIC

(quietly) Call me.



Friday struggled to make idle conversation with the stolid, tight-lipped Mandarc. He took what few conversation starters she threw and stomped on them until nothing remained.

Metaphorically, of course.

PERKINS

THIS PLACE DOESN’T SEEM REGULATION.

MANDARC

REGULATION?

PERKINS

YEAH. UP TO CODE. YOU KNOW –

THE BASEMENT WALLS DON’T ALL HAVE WINDOWS.

AND I THINK THE MASTER SHOULD HAVE FULL-SIZED WINDOWS. DUNNO IF IT’S ALLOWED TO HAVE THOSE LITTLE MICRO-WINDOWS.

FOR FIRE ESCAPING.

MANDARC

THE UNIT IS PROBABLY BEING GRANDFATHERED IN.

I’M SURE THOSE KINDS OF SAFETY REGULATIONS DIDN’T TAKE EFFECT UNTIL RELATIVELY RECENTLY.

SIXTIES, SEVENTIES, EIGHTIES. HARD TO SAY.

PERKINS

WELL I JUST DON’T WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE IF SOMEONE COMES BY TO LOOK AT THE PLACE.

MANDARC

YOU’RE JUST RENTING.


And with that, Friday Perkins felt a chill in the air.

PERKINS

ARE ALL THE WINDOWS CLOSED?

THIS PLACE IS FREEZING!!


Indeed, one of the small windows in the kitchen was open to the outside.

She walks over and assertively pushes the window shut.

Satisfied with herself, she looks about the kitchen.

PERKINS

YOU HUNGRY?

I’M FAMISHED.


Mandarc shifts his eyes anxiously.

MANDARC

NOT…TERRIBLY.

PERKINS

MOVING ALWAYS MAKES ME HUNGRY.

MANDARC

SEEMS LIKE YOU’VE BEEN MOVING AROUND A LOT IN THE PAST FEW YEARS.


Refreshing, it was, to have someone actually pay attention to the words that came out of her mouth.

PERKINS

A FAIR AMOUNT. BUT NOT TOO MUCH.

I WAS DOING RESEARCH.

MANDARC

RESEARCH ON WHAT?

PERKINS

MY POTION.

I FIGURE IT’S NEVER TOO EARLY TO GET STARTED.

AND THAT WAS ONE OF THE PROBLEMS WITH THE HEADMISTRESS.

SHE’D NEVER FIGURED IT OUT HERSELF SO HOW WAS SHE SUPPOSED TO TEACH US?

MANDARC

I THOUGHT THE POTION WAS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE –

…SOME SIMILIARITIES BETWEEN FAMILY MEMBERS, BUT –


On this topic, Friday believed herself to be able to speak on authority, despite having made little actual progress toward the potion proper.

PERKINS

OH, CERTAINLY.

JUST, THERE ARE CERTAIN TIPS AND CLUES THAT CLUE YOU IN TO THE NECESSARY INGREDIENTS.

YOU MUST KNOW.

MANDARC

I…?

NO, I HAVEN’T DEVELOPED MY POTION.

PERKINS

YOU HAVEN’T?

GOSH, I’M SORRY. I WAS SO SURE! YOU LOOK SO YOUNG.


Mandarc tries to conjure a blush.

MANDARC

I’LL TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT.


They sit in silence a moment, embarrassed.

PERKINS

SO I’VE BEEN TRAVELING AROUND QUITE A BIT, TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT OTHER WITCHES AND WIZARDS HAVE DONE FOR THEIR POTION.

FIGURE WHATEVER I’VE GOT TO DO FOR MINE COULDN’T BE TOO FAR OFF.

NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN AND WHATNOT.

MANDARC

MAKES SENSE.

PERKINS

MAYBE WHEN I FIND SOMETHING OUT, I’LL TEACH YOU.

MANDARC

DID YOU GET ANY GOOD TIPS WHILE YOU WERE OUT THERE?


She stumbles, caught on a fib.

PERKINS

N…NO.

I DIDN’T.

I REALIZED I NEEDED TO LOOK CLOSER TO HOME.

FOREIGNERS ARE ABLE TO SOURCE DIFFERENT INGREDIENTS THAN I AM.

MANDARC

MAKES SENSE.

I ALWAYS FIGURED THE INGREDIENTS NEEDED TO BE LOCAL.

PERKINS

YEAH…JUST.

LOCAL MEANS A LITTLE SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE.

THE FLORA AND FAUNA AROUND HERE ARE DIFFERENT THAN WHERE I GREW UP.

MANDARC

I THOUGHT YOU GREW UP AT THE MAGICADEMY?

PERKINS

I WAS SEVEN WHEN MY GRANDMOTHER GAVE ME UP.

SO ‘GREW UP’ IS A RELATIVE TERM.

MANDARC

YEAH I CAN SEE THAT.



Friday fixes herself a small dinner of rice pilaf and fried egg. She has been able to keep the attention of Mandarc the entire time, trying to gather the specific sorts of things that might be able to induce him into small talk.

What did the young man enjoy?

PERKINS

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN?


Such a blunt question, but she felt she was losing the battle.

MANDARC

FUN?

OH, WHY, IN MY OFF-TIME I’M MAINLY STUDYING MY…ER –

THE PROFESSOR’S MANUSCRIPTS.

HE MAKES A GREAT DEAL OF REFERENCES THAT I DON’T YET UNDERSTAND.

I’M NOT, UM. COUCHED IN HIS WORK.

PERKINS

OH…


This was nothing for which she had a reaction slated.

But Mandarc takes the bait and tries to engage her by talking about himself.

MANDARC

BUT I DO FIND MYSELF WATCHING SOME OLD RUNS OF CARTOONS WHEN I’M NOT BUSY.

THE PROFESSOR’S COLLECTED A NUMBER OF EARLY AUGHTS DVD SETS.

ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE. YOU EVER WATCH ANY OF THAT?

PERKINS

UH…NO.

MANDARC

THERE WAS A REMAKE RECENTLY BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEAN.

THE ORIGINALS ARE GOLD.

EARLY SIXTIES.

PERKINS

I NEVER…UH. WATCHED A WHOLE LOT OF CARTOONS GROWING UP.

THE HEADMISTRESS DIDN’T KEEP A TELEVISION AROUND.

MANDARC

OH, THAT’S REALLY TOO BAD.



The evening wanes and Friday feigns a yawn. She’s not sure whether she’s actually tired or just looking for an excuse for privacy.

That being said, did she want to be alone in this gigantic house?

PERKINS

YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO LEAVE ME ALONE IN THIS PLACE, ARE YOU?


She’s gone for the jugular.

MANDARC

LEAVE YOU ALONE?

WELL…UHM. I DO NEED TO GIVE DEXX A WALK BEFORE I HEAD TO BED.

PERKINS

YOUR DOG IS UP THERE WITH THE PROFESSOR?

MANDARC

YEAH, JUST DOWN THE STREET.

PERKINS

YOU MIND IF I GO WITH?


She was clearly spooked.

MANDARC

WELL…UH…NO.

NOT REALLY.

THAT SHOULD BE FINE.

PERKINS

OKAY. THANKS.

THIS PLACE…I DON’T KNOW.

I’M JUST NOT READY TO GO TO SLEEP QUITE YET.

IT FEELS A LITTLE HAUNTED.

MANDARC

HEH.

WELL THANKFULLY THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS GHOSTS.


She pauses and the conversation hangs, the commentary having brought her little solace.



( WOOF WOOF!! )


The dog Dexx is excited for his late-evening walk with Mandarc.

The pair Friday, Mandarc walk down the foggy street lit with amber streetlamps. They can hear the dog barking from behind the closed doors.

MANDARC

SOUNDS LIKE DOGGO IS READY TO GO.


He turns to her.

MANDARC

YOU JUST WAIT RIGHT HERE, I’LL GRAB HIM AND BRING HIM OUT.

HE GETS A BIT EXCITABLE SO BE FOREWARNED.

YOU EVER HAD A DOG?

PERKINS

NOPE, NOT I.

MANDARC

HE’S MY FIRST, BUT WE’VE BECOME ACCUSTOMED TO EACH OTHER’S COMPANY.


He walks up the stairs to reach the large entrance, doors seeming more out of a graveyard than a home-improvement catalog.

He need only crack the door before the dog pushes out of the house and jumps on Mandarc, licking his hands and going for his face.

Mandarc attempts to calm the dog but he’s unsuccessful.

He dives into the house and returns with a retractable leash, which he hooks to the dog’s collar.

When he finally begins to walk toward Friday, the dog takes every inch of the short leash to reach up and start vigorously insisting the woman give him salutation.

Friday is overcome with the shower of affection.

MANDARC

I’M SORRY! HE’LL CALM DOWN.

HE ALWAYS GETS THIS WAY AROUND NEW PEOPLE.

AND ESPECIALLY PEOPLE HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH.


She is finding it difficult to maintain her usual composure in the face of the dog’s declaration of greeting.

She is not particularly fond of the residue left over from the dog’s licking.

PERKINS

YEAH…YEAH!


She tries to push the dog down to his fours.

PERKINS

IT’S OKAY…

I’M JUST NOT USED TO DOGS.

IT’S OKAY.



The walk goes relatively quickly and uneventfully. The chill in the air causes discomfort only to Friday Perkins, who pulls her coat about her and tucks her naked fingers back into the sleeves.

She folds her arms as they walk.

The gentle clinking of the dog’s tag fills the empty moments with just enough ambiance to set their nervousness at ease.

PERKINS

HOW LONG YOU HAD THE DOG?

MANDARC

HOW LONG…? OH.

JUST A FEW YEARS. WAS A PRESENT FROM…


He stops on the word.

MANDARC

MY FATHER.

WE DON’T TALK ANYMORE THOUGH.

WE HAD A BIG FIGHT.


And then, out of nowhere, Friday ups the ante.

PERKINS

ASSHOLE PROBABLY HAD IT COMING.


The casual ejaculation sets him askew.

Mandarc laughs lightly, trying to recover.

MANDARC

HEH HEH.

YEAH.

HE WAS KIND OF AN ASSHOLE.