CEDRIC//

Yo Mandarc. I had a dream this morning.

MANDARC//

So you're back on the apple cart.

CEDRIC//

Bandwagon. Yes. I jumped on. I'm going to upset the apple cart.

MANDARC//

Well, spill the beans.

CEDRIC//

I was back at high school --

MANDARC//

High school again? By the frequency of your educational dreams, one would think you had the time of your life.

CEDRIC//

Not exactly.

MANDARC//

So what were you doing at high school? Mackin' on your lab partner?

CEDRIC//

Hardly. I was trying to get into my locker but I'd forgotten the combination. It's a common nightmare of mine.

MANDARC//

You can't remember three numbers?

CEDRIC//

It's a nightmare, Mandarc. It's not supposed to make sense.

MANDARC//

Still, just... come up with a mnemonic.

CEDRIC//

It's my nightmare, not yours.

MANDARC//

So you're still not lucid during your time in Dream?

CEDRIC//

Nope. I haven't been able to break through.

MANDARC//

Why do you keep going back to high school?

CEDRIC//

I don't know.

MANDARC//

Any theories?

CEDRIC//

It was then that things got bad with my family. I was learning the lesson that if I didn't take care of myself, no one else would either.

MANDARC//

Was it then that you started selling drugs?

CEDRIC//

I didn't deal in high school. Just cards.

MANDARC//

You sold cards?

CEDRIC//

No, it was a joke. I meant I was the dealer in a game of cards.

MANDARC//

Oh.

CEDRIC//

I was pretty straight-edge at that time. I hated drugs. My mother was always fucked up on something.

MANDARC//

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

CEDRIC//

I didn't start dealing until I moved out here. And even then, let's not get it confused. I mostly did it to pay for my own habit. I never sold to kids and I never dealt in the heavy stuff.

MANDARC//

No kids, that's good.

CEDRIC//

I mostly sold to the housewives I did personal training for.

MANDARC//

Personal training, huh?

CEDRIC//

It wasn't like that.

MANDARC//

I think Yuki thinks I'm gay.

CEDRIC//

Haven't you been seeing her for a year?

MANDARC//

I guess it's almost been that long.

CEDRIC//

When are you going to tell her?

MANDARC//

I don't want to scare her.

CEDRIC//

You have to tell her eventually.

MANDARC//

I know I do. I just don't know how.

CEDRIC//

Davian used the short and simple approach.

MANDARC//

Yeah well Davian is Davian.

CEDRIC//

Regardless, maybe you should just go for radical honesty. I hear it's the best policy.

MANDARC//

I haven't talked to the Master about it. Outing myself means outing all of us.

CEDRIC//

Talking to him is probably a good idea.

MANDARC//

I just hope she's not completely scared or off-put by it.

CEDRIC//

Have you made any plans with her?

MANDARC//

We're supposed to go to the Museum of Mathematics sometime soon.

CEDRIC//

Earning your nickname one day at a time.

MANDARC//

Oh shove off.

CEDRIC//

It sounds like a good time. I hope you have fun. But that wasn't really what I meant. But it kind of answers my question anyway.


// STRAUD MANSION //


I showed up fully prepared to drive the Master to the B.V. but something told me that we would not be going tonight.

I unlocked the door with my personal set of keys. It still astounded me, each and every time I did this, the amount of trust the Master had placed in me. My old master, the Doctor Trelaine, had never given me such a gift. He had barely been comfortable with me placing my hand upon a doorknob, more content to have me follow dutifully behind.

But times had changed. Straud was my Master now.

STRAUD

THERE IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW, MANDARC.

MANDARC

YES, MASTER?

STRAUD

I’VE STARTED TRAINING CEDRIC IN THE WAYS OF BLOOD SORCERY.

IT IS NOT A MATTER OF FAVORITISM, RATHER, SOMETHING I REALIZED I WAS FINALLY READY TO DO.

I DON’T WANT YOU TO THINK YOU’VE DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO NOT RECEIVE THIS BOON –

MANDARC

WELL HE WAS A MAGE BEFORE.

STRAUD

SO IS INTERRUPTING YOUR NEW TRICK?

MANDARC

SORRY, MASTER.

STRAUD

TRY NOT TO DO IT AGAIN.

MANDARC

YES, MASTER.

STRAUD

AT ANY RATE, THE TIME FOR YOUR TRAINING WILL SOON COME BUT I DO FEEL YOU’VE NOT FULLY EXTRACTED MEANING FROM THE EXPERIENCES YOU’VE ALREADY HAD.

MANDARC

SIR?

STRAUD

YOU SAW SOMETHING IN THE RECORD ROOM IN SAINT LOUIE, DID YOU NOT?

WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF WHAT YOU SAW?


I stumbled over my thoughts. The prompt was completely out of left field.

MANDARC

MASTER, I…

STRAUD

HAVEN’T THOUGHT OF IT MUCH LATELY?

THAT IS PRECISELY THE PROBLEM.

YOU EXPERIENCED SOMETHING THERE MEANT FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE.

THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH I CAN HELP YOU WITH WHAT YOU ARE.

… YOU’VE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH YUKI BEHR, HAVEN’T YOU?


My posture stiffened. Of course there was no hiding anything from him.

STRAUD

IT IS PERFECTLY NATURAL FOR YOU TO SEEK COMPANIONSHIP –

MANDARC

BUT SHE’S MORTAL?

STRAUD

CAN YOU READ MY THOUGHTS, MANDARC?

MANDARC

NO SIR…

STRAUD

THEN I KINDLY ASK YOU TO REFRAIN FROM ACTING AS IF YOU CAN.

MANDARC

SORRY, MASTER.


He paused, steadying himself.

STRAUD

IT IS NOT THAT SHE IS A MORTAL THAT TROUBLES ME.

MORTALS ARE BROUGHT INTO THE CIRCLE OF TRUST EVERY DAY.

BUT WE MUST LOOK INTO OURSELVES AND ENSURE THAT THOSE WE LEAN ON ARE PREPARED TO CARRY THE BURDEN.

MANDARC

DO YOU THINK SHE’S ILL-SUITED TO ME, SIR?

STRAUD

THAT IS A DECISION YOU MUST MAKE FOR YOURSELF.

MANDARC

I’M SORRY, SIR.


There is a momentary silence and I notice the log in the fireplace crackle and pop.

STRAUD

I THOUGHT MISS PERKINS WAS A POOR MATCH FOR YOU.


His words cause a rise of indignation, embarrassment. He was rarely so forward.

MANDARC

SIR!

IF YOU THOUGHT THAT, WHY DID YOU LET –

STRAUD

BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR DECISION TO MAKE.

WHO AM I TO STAND IN THE WAY OF LOVE?

MANDARC

BUT SIR!

STRAUD

I HOPED YOUR KINDNESS AND PURITY WOULD WIN HER OVER AND INVOKE A CHANGE IN HER.

BUT SHE DESIRED SOMETHING YOU COULD NOT OFFER HER.

IT WAS A TRAGEDY WE COULD NOT BRING HER TO THE LIGHT.

MANDARC

I REGRET THE WHOLE THING.

STRAUD

DON’T WASTE PRECIOUS SECONDS ON REGRETS.

YOU ARE GREATER NOW THAN YOU WERE.

YOUR HEART IS FULLER NOW THAT YOU HAVE LEARNED WHAT IT MEANS TO LOVE.

TO BE LOVED IN RETURN IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL, BUT THAT IS A MORE COMPLICATED MATTER.

MANDARC

DO YOU THINK YUKI LOVES ME?

STRAUD

WHATEVER IT IS SHE FEELS, I CANNOT SAY, BUT IT IS CERTAIN THAT HER FEELINGS ARE BASED ON INCOMPLETE INFORMATION.

SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

WHO YOU ARE.

MANDARC

SHOULD I TELL HER, SIR?

IS SHE READY?

STRAUD

SHE WILL NEVER BE READY.

BUT THAT IS NOT MY CONCERN.

I AM CONCERNED WITH YOU AND WHETHER YOU ARE READY TO TAKE ON THIS RESPONSIBILITY.

MANDARC

SIR?

STRAUD

BECAUSE ONCE SHE LEAVES THE MORTAL SHROUD SHE IS YOUR CHARGE FOR THE REST OF HER DAYS.

IT IS NOT LIKE FORMING BONDS WITH THE AWAKENED.

YUKI WILL HAVE HER WORLD SHATTERED WHEN YOU REVEAL THE TRUTH.

AND SHE WILL COME TO LOOK TO YOU TO PUT THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER.

MANDARC

I DON’T KNOW IF I’M READY TO DO THAT.

STRAUD

YOU MAY NOT BE TODAY, BUT YOU WILL BE.

MANDARC

WHAT’S THE PHRASE I’M LOOKING FOR?

“ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY”?