( TURN NOTHIN' INTO SOMETHING, STILL CAN )

( MAKE THAT, STRAW INTO GOLD, CHUMP )

( "THE MONSTER" - EMINEM )


No one had ever taught me to cook. When I was a child, my mother brought me meals already prepared, and the whole process remained a mystery to me. When I became a vampire, I took vitae from Earth’s creatures, and I was a thief, but never committed murder. The Blood warmed me, and I needed no fire. But I could not live this way. When I later resuccumbed to mortality, to the need to eat and breathe to survive, to… kill - it had been a difficult habit to acquire.

Hunger was repetitive and persistent. It seemed to me that as soon as I was done with one meal, I needed another. And another. Yes, I suppose it had been that way under the vampiric Affliction, but it had not then seemed so crude. So often I had to remove myself from whatever I had been doing to satisfy this base need. And unlike the vitae, food left a lump in my stomach that slowed me, irritated me. I did not want to eat at first - my sense of taste was acute and easily perturbed; everything reminded me of rotting flesh. Textures were revolting and disgusted me. The pungent odors made me want to gag. I could not stand to see things overcooked or carbonized.

Yes, in the early days I had eaten only as was strictly necessary. My mother, long inured to the tedium of consumption, stressed the importance of three square meals. I rebelled, struggling against the yoke, but ultimately knew I had no choice. When she saw me skipping meals, she tried to stuff me with rich, fattening foods. She seemed to slip cheese into every nook and cranny of the things she prepared. When that didn’t work, she insisted on protein supplements and vitamins. The bland taste and mild smell of those pseudofoods was tolerable and I took on much-needed weight. It was all still too sweet, but I had to find something I did not feel an unholy crime against the realm of foodstuff.

I hated the incessant need to chew and swallow. My teeth were sharp from disuse and I bit my cheeks in the same places over and over again. My teeth sang out in pain when a drink was too cold; my tongue was scalded from coffee others seemed to enjoy. I wanted to revolt, and yet, this is what I had chosen. This life was what I had wanted. I eventually fell into a rhythm. As my stamina and health improved, I stopped relying on my mother and began to cook for myself. At this, I had no natural gift and certainly no training. At first, my creations were barely edible, burnt on the outside and cold in the centers. As if in response to my mother’s soulless but adequate meals, everything I forked into my mouth was overly-spiced and salty.

I continued to improve. I remained thin - my stomach would protest angrily when it had reached capacity - and I still resented that I could never stray too far from the kitchen - but the whole annoyance had slowly become bearable.

Tonight, I needed to eat something before making my way to the Blue Velvet. I had felt uneasy since midday - a greasy lunch from a restaurant had given me indigestion - but I knew I could not refuse dinner. I would get jittery and anxious. I could not afford to lose my focus tonight.

I choke down some calcium carbonate, don an apron, and get right into the process.

I am making butter chicken. I intend to go easy on the spice. I didn’t like to consume the flesh of animals and generally avoided doing so if at all possible, but I could not refute that it was a nutrient-dense source of calories and was fairly easily digested. I had once tried to live on carrots and cabbage, but that hadn’t worked so well. No, this was yet another avenue of my life in which I was forced to make compromise.

My mother, at least, always joined me when she caught a new aroma wafting from the kitchen. She would have a tip or two, some helpful advice for me. Sometimes I took her suggestions, but other times I went my own way. Even as I listened to her pontificate on the joy - or lack thereof - of cooking, it was nice to have her company as I labored over the stove.

Often, it was just the two of us. Although I could now work the Craft as she could, we rarely had much to talk about. Our journeys were our own. I might cheerfully demonstrate a new transmutation or ask her advice on reference materials, but otherwise, the table was quiet. She seemed to always be preoccupied with her own thoughts and affairs and I refused to become a nuisance. I owed her too much.

She would invariably perk up when my father would join us in the dining room. With him present, the lanes of conversation were wide open. He might break the ice with a baudy tale or a game of remember-when. She would follow up with a tender anecdote of something one of the children had done back-in-the-day. They would laugh and reminisce and though I was little more than window dressing in these conversations, I was glad to see them happy.

Tonight, my father mixes some kind of arcane cocktail for my mother. I can smell the alcohol heavy in the air. I am not interested.

KEVIN

MOTHER, FATHER–

I’D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU BOTH ABOUT SOMETHING.


My father sets his offering next to my mother’s plate and takes a seat next to me, across from her.

MYRTLE

YES, KEVIN–

GO AHEAD.


I take a breath and gather my confidence.

KEVIN

MY FRIEND IN RIVERHEAD WHO TOOK THE CATS–

WELL, SHE’S MOVING.

SHE CAN’T TAKE THEM WITH HER.


We had a house out east that I had used as a refuge when life in the city had been too overwhelming. Yes, I had gone out there often then, back several years ago when my father’s soul had resided inside my mind. I had gone east many a weekend, using the quiet to play at escape. Yes, I had taken him with me, as I always did then, but the ocean air had done me good. I had read books, scribed notes - and slept. I had good memories of that time. It had been just he and I - and the cats.

KEVIN

I WANT TO BRING THEM TO LIVE WITH US HERE.


My mother’s face curled in disgust.

MYRTLE

YOU WANT TO BRING CATS…

HERE?


She had never been one to favor house pets.

MYRTLE

WITH THE–

…

LITTER?


I sighed.

KEVIN

YES, I KNOW IT’S A BIT UNSIGHTLY–

MYRTLE

IT’S NOT JUST UNSIGHTLY, IT’S UNSANITARY.

DISGUSTING.

REPULSIVE.

KEVIN

I’M NOT A FAN OF THE SMELL AND DUST EITHER, BUT–


I had to pull at her heartstrings.

KEVIN

THEY’RE GETTING OLDER.

I DON’T THINK IT’S FAIR FOR THEM TO HAVE TO GET USED TO A NEW HOME AND NEW PEOPLE AT THEIR AGE.

NOT TO MENTION THEY’RE A BONDED PAIR.

BROTHERS.

BEEN TOGETHER SINCE BIRTH.

WHAT IF SOMEONE ISN’T WILLING TO TAKE BOTH OF THEM?


She eyed me with skepticism.

MYRTLE

I’VE NEVER…

OWNED A CAT.


My father spoke brightly, trying to interject a little humor into my plea.

VINCENT

WITCHES HAVE BEEN KEEPING CATS SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME.


My mother grimaced.

MYRTLE

NOT THIS WITCH.


My father turned up the charm.

VINCENT

OH, CATS AREN’T SO BAD.

THEY ARE CLEAN AND QUIET.

JUST LIKE YOU.


She was not amused.

MYRTLE

I WOULD HARDLY REGARD A CREATURE THAT LICKS ITSELF AND SHITS IN A BOX TO BE CLEAN.

KEVIN

I’LL CLEAN UP AFTER THEM, BRUSH THEM, FEED THEM–

YOU WON’T HAVE TO DO A THING.

MYRTLE

I THOUGHT WHEN YOU ACQUIRED THE MONGRELS THAT THEY WERE TO STAY OUT EAST.

KEVIN

THE TWO OF THEM ARE HARDLY MONGRELS, MOTHER.

THEY’RE VERY SWEET, GENTLE CATS.

OUTSTANDING REPRESENTATIVES OF WHAT THE SPECIES CAN BE.

DOCILE, CALM, AFFECTIONATE.

AND…

I KNOW THAT WAS THE ORIGINAL IDEA BUT THAT WAS YEARS AGO.

I’M NOT GOING OUT THERE AS MUCH AS I USED TO, AND–


She frowned, interrupting me.

MYRTLE

PLANS CHANGE?


I didn’t want to be impertinent, but–

KEVIN

YEAH, MOM.

PLANS CHANGE.

I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.

THEY’RE GOOD CATS.


Her face was dark with rebellion.

MYRTLE

DOGS ARE MORE USEFUL.

KEVIN

I DON’T KNOW THAT WE HAVE THE TIME OR PATIENCE FOR A DOG.

I MEAN–


I backtracked, sensing the hypocrisy.

KEVIN

IF YOU WANT TO GET A DOG, GET A DOG.

I’M NOT GOING TO STOP YOU.

BUT I NEED TO DO THIS.

THEY ARE MY CATS.


She expelled air through her nose in irritation.

MYRTLE

I HAVE ALWAYS FOUND THE OBSESSION WITH ANIMALS TO BE A GREAT WASTE OF TIME, ENERGY, AND RESOURCES BETTER ALLOCATED TO OTHER PURSUITS.

THESE LITTLE GREMLINS ARE ACQUIRED BY THOSE WITHOUT THE MENTAL FORTITUDE TO FOCUS ON THE REAL NEEDS OF THIS WORLD.

THEY ARE SURROGATE CHILDREN TO PEOPLE WHO WOULD BE BETTER SERVED TO REMEMBER THE PEOPLE LANGUISHING IN GROUP HOMES AND UNLOVING FAMILIES.

KEVIN

THE ANIMALS OF THIS PLANET NEED OUR HELP TOO.

MYRTLE

OUR RESPONSIBILITY IS TO HUMANITY FIRST AND FOREMOST.

KEVIN

THE CREATURES OF THIS WORLD ARE PART OF OUR HUMANITY.

MYRTLE

SEND THEM BACK TO THE WILDERNESS FROM WHICH THEY CAME.

KEVIN

THEY’RE DOMESTICATED.

WE DID THAT TO THEM.

WE CAN NO LONGER JUST THROW THEM INTO THE FORESTS AND FORGET ABOUT THEM–

VINCENT

ANY MORE THAN I CAN SEND YOU BACK TO A CAVE AND ARM YOU WITH A CLUB AND SPEAR.

SHALL I DRESS YOU IN A LOINCLOTH?


She pursed her lips, sensing her reservations about bringing animals into the house were falling on deaf ears.

She had to, reluctantly, admit defeat.

MYRTLE

FINE.

BRING THEM HERE.

WHO AM I TO TURN OUT THE OLD MEN TO THE BREAD LINES?


I smiled.

KEVIN

THANK YOU, MOTHER.

YOU WON’T REGRET IT.

THEY REALLY ARE VERY GOOD LITTLE CATS.


She looked at me sideways.

MYRTLE

… YOU SAY THAT.

KEVIN

THEY KEPT ME GOING WHEN THINGS GOT TOUGH.


My parents were silent a moment, so I changed the subject.

KEVIN

STRAUD IS MAKING AN APPEARANCE AT THE B.V. TONIGHT.

IT’S HIS FIRST TIME THERE SINCE HIS HOUSE WAS DESTROYED.

MYRTLE

HOW HAS RECONSTRUCTION BEEN GOING?

KEVIN

WELL, AS FAR AS I CAN TELL.

I WENT OVER IN AN ATTEMPT TO LEND A HAND BUT IT SEEMED HE MOSTLY WANTED TO WORK ALONE.

HE’S RESOURCEFUL.

I HAVE NO DOUBT HE WILL RESTORE IT AND MAKE IT BETTER THAN EVER.

MYRTLE

HE NEEDS ANOTHER EXIT IN THAT HOUSE.

AND PROPER VENTILATION IN THE KITCHEN.

KEVIN

NOT SURE HE DOES MUCH COOKING–

MYRTLE

THERE’S NO HARM IN BEING PREPARED.

AND TIDY.

KEVIN

WHY DON’T YOU TELL HIM YOURSELF TONIGHT?

THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR YOU AT THE TABLE.

IT’S NO FUN TO DRINK ALONE.


She raised an eyebrow, displeased with my insinuation.

MYRTLE

I HAVE WORK TO DO TONIGHT.

I HAVEN’T THE TIME.


We always invited her and she always made excuses.

KEVIN

IT WOULD BE A GOOD GESTURE OF SOLIDARITY–


She snapped at me.

MYRTLE

I HAVE NO INTEREST IN ATTENDING!


I was still stunned by her outburst when my father surprises me, speaking calmly.

VINCENT

I’LL GO.


Since his resurrection, he rarely left the house, seeming to guard the place as a stubborn hound.

My mother was less than pleased.

MYRTLE

YOU INTEND TO LEAVE ME HERE ALONE?


When my father had made up his mind about something, little could sway him from following through on his word.

VINCENT

I’LL WAKE UP GEORGE HENRY BEFORE I LEAVE.

MYRTLE

THAT MILKSOP ISN’T WORTH THE PAPER HE’S PRINTED ON.

KEVIN

YOU SELL HIM SHORT.

HE’S A GOOD MAN.

MYRTLE

AND WHERE WAS HE WHEN I NEEDED HIM?


She was thinking of when Agnes Sepal had set the house ablaze, incinerating both herself and my mother in a vicious magefeud. I had been out-of-town during the incident. I still had lingering guilt regarding what happened.

KEVIN

FIRE IS A TRICKY BUSINESS–

MYRTLE

A TRICKY BUSINESS INDEED!

I AM SURE TRENTE GAGARIN TEACHES HER CLUTCH TO STAND THEIR GROUND!

KEVIN

… WE’LL GET THERE–

MYRTLE

BUT MAYBE NOT SOON ENOUGH!


I am sure there is little I can say to dispel her fears.

MYRTLE

OH–

GO TO YOUR STUPID PARTY.

LEAVE ME ALONE TO DEFEND THE HOMESTEAD.

THIS POOR LITTLE OLD LADY–

VINCENT

MYRTLE–ENOUGH.


She knew she had stepped out of line.

VINCENT

YOU WILL BE FINE.

YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL MAGES IN THE WORLD.


She frowned, unwilling to accept the praise.

KEVIN

WHY DON’T YOU INVITE SOMEONE OVER FOR TEA AND COOKIES?

VINCENT

A ROUSING GAME OF CHESS.


I searched my mind for anyone that would not offend her.

KEVIN

GWYDION?


Her eyes softened somewhat, but her lips remained tight.

MYRTLE

YES–

PERHAPS.


I could not help but feel that I was going from the frying pan into the fire. I had a growing responsibility to sustain my family’s legacy, but I also had an allegiance to Straud and the coterie that ran deep. Refusing my vampiric inheritance had not released me from that identity, rather, it had intensified my dedication. They needed me more than ever. Most mages saw the nightfolk as parasitic affronts to the natural order. Davian had been one of the few exceptions to this rule, though I think he was driven more by loyalty to Straud than a particular affection for the Gift.

But I believed, as I suspected Davian did as well, that the Talent and the Curse were two sides of the same coin. Myth and bad information ran rampant through the world of the Extranatural. Some claimed that mageblood made one immune to the vampiric taint - but what about Cedric and Gabrielle? It also appeared that vampires were largely sterile, but then how did Svetlana conceive and bear daughters by Sebastian Eriksson? And of course, there was the strange matter of my own existence.

Though I had more questions than answers, I had resolved long ago to take life one step at a time, focusing first on the immediate needs in front of me. The sun had now sank behind the horizon and the three of us would walk to the Blue Velvet together. Although everything was different now than it had been in the old millennium, there was a certain sense, a feeling, almost - déjà vu - that made me think of old times.

KEVIN

( CEDRIC, YOU READY? )

CEDRIC

( YEAH, JUST A SEC. )


Although Cedric had no Sire, my father had taken him under his wing. For three years, we had spent every moment together. But it had seemed to be much longer than that. Each day, we sheltered inside the home, beneath the feet of the Orphans who knew nothing of our existence. By night, we stole into the darkness, sharpening our skills, seeking prey, preparing to fight our enemies.

Father had realized almost immediately that Cedric did not have to fear the Sun. It was not unheard of among our kind, despite confusion on that point among Mortals - but it was virtually impossible for a fledgling stumbling through his first decades. Straud, Sebastian, even my father, could stand in the Sun’s radiation and not be set ablaze - but to see that Cedric had that ability from the onset of his dark birth - that showed him to be cut from a different cloth.

In this moment, none of the three of us could be destroyed by a sunbeam, and yet, it did not change the fact that we were still creatures of the night.

Cedric came out on the front stoop and locked the door behind him.

KEVIN

ANY WORD FROM AVAEL?


He slipped his keys into his pocket, turning to face me and my father.

CEDRIC

NOPE.

NADA.


We walk.

In our melancholy, all we can hear is the rhythmic patter of our shoes upon the sidewalk.

CEDRIC

HOUSE IS REALLY QUIET WITHOUT HER.


Though we each often required solitude, we were not asocial loners. Our bonds with others who understood our suffering were one of the few things that kept us sane.

CEDRIC

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY?

GOOD RIDDANCE.

KEVIN

YOU DON’T MEAN THAT.


He paused.

CEDRIC

…

MAYBE NOT ALL OF IT, BUT AT LEAST SOME OF IT, I DO.

IF SHE REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO BE HERE WITH US, IF THE BENEFITS WERE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FRIENDS, THEN YEAH–

GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.

SHE’LL FIGURE IT OUT SOMEDAY.

BUT BY THEN, IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE.


I hoped it would not come to that.

CEDRIC

I AIN’T GOT NO TIME FOR LIARS AND CHEATS.

KEVIN

I HOPE SHE WASN’T FOUND BY THE MORTALS–

CEDRIC

I DOUBT THAT HAPPENED.

WE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT BY NOW IF THAT WERE THE CASE.

NOPE, I BET SHE MADE IT TO BROOKLYN IN ONE PIECE.

BUT IF SHE THINKS SHE’S GOING TO CARRY OUT TRELAINE’S COMMANDS AND WE’LL JUST LOOK THE OTHER WAY BECAUSE OF THE WAY THINGS WERE, THEN SHE’S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING.

FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU.

I’LL BE READY THIS TIME.


I felt his rage, but at the same time, it also seemed alien to me. I was numb to this loss.

CEDRIC

SUCKS TOO, ALL OUR HARD WORK–

YOUR WORK–

LOST.

ALL THAT TECHNOLOGY, NOW IN THEIR HANDS.

VINCENT

TRELAINE WON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER.

THE METALS, THE TRANSISTORS…

IT IS ANETHEMA TO HIM.

HE IS A FLESHCRAFTER; TO HIM, SHE IS AN ABOMINATION.

CEDRIC

SHE WAS OUR ABOMINATION.


I didn’t know what to say.

KEVIN

SHE WAS NEVER OURS.


I didn’t mean to hurt him.

CEDRIC

… YEAH.

I GUESS NOT.


When we get to the bar, it is already swarming with activity. The Count had a while back declared a hiatus on the plays, citing issues with writers, which was kind of disingenuous because I’m pretty sure he wrote all of them. Maybe Long Winter wasn’t one of his, but I couldn’t be completely sure.

We made our way to the private chamber in which Straud entertained his more illustrious guests. It was a private viewing room with an excellent view of the stage. Unlike the other seats in the theatre, it was enclosed by walls and glass. I suspected it was enchanted somehow; from a seat in this room one would have no trouble hearing the performance, but I doubted the same permeability applied to outgoing sound.

When we get there, Miriam and Hua Jia are seated at the table. Yet another mystery of the room was that there was always enough space at the table to seat everyone.

The two women were relative newcomers, but they were quickly becoming accepted members of the coterie. Miriam was apparently an old friend of Straud’s from when he wandered the Old World. And Hua Jia? We had supposed it was not safe to simply deport her back to her homeland.

CEDRIC

HEY ALL.

IS MANDARC COMING?


We hung up our coats on the stand. Though we did not strictly need them, it was good to keep up appearances.

MIRIAM

I DO NOT THINK SO.

I BELIEVE HE HAD ANOTHER ENGAGEMENT.

CEDRIC

SOMETHING MORE EXCITING THAN TELLING OFF THE TREMERE?

I CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT.


Mandarc often acted as secretary at these sorts of affairs. It appeared as if Miriam would accept the mantle tonight.

Straud was not yet present.

VINCENT

HUA JIA, MIRIAM.

LOVELY TO SEE YOU BOTH THIS EVENING.

MIRIAM

AND YOU, DREAMWALKER.

I’M SURE VLAD WILL BE GLADDENED TO SEE YOU HERE TONIGHT.


Hua Jia acknowledged him but said nothing, seeming a little unsure of herself. It was my impression that she was quite well-known among the Kindred of the East, but here she was starting again from nothing.

VINCENT

YES, I AM VERY SORRY THAT I MISSED THE PARTY.

IT SOUNDED LIKE A SWELL TIME.

IF THAT IS A PORTENT OF THINGS TO COME, I WILL MAKE AN EFFORT TO GET OUT MORE.

MIRIAM

I’M SURE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITIES.

VINCENT

I NO LONGER SIT ON ANY THRONE.

HERE, I AM MADE OF FLESH AND REQUIRE VITAE TO STAY ALERT.

MY SCHOOL HAS NO STUDENTS.

I REFUSE TO DROWN IN MY PAPERS.


I suppose it was strange for the others to have him here - the room seemed to hang in words unsaid.

When I had come into being and known my father as his begotten son, he had become a recluse from the vampiric community. It was my impression that he had become a bit of a pariah after marrying my mother and devoting so much energy to harboring and educating the Enchanted.

But true fame never dies.

VINCENT

WELL, WHEN IN ROME–


And my father went to the small bar to mix up some refreshments for the group. He had become quite partial to the plasma jane. I supposed I was the only one who would not imbibe. Me - and Straud.

KEVIN

DO WE HAVE ANY INTEL ON WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE PRINCE?

IS HE BRINGING HIS WIVES…?

… MOVEMENTS OF THE TREMERE OVER THE PAST SEVERAL WEEKS?

MIRIAM

KALYANI SEEMS TO HAVE SLIPPED INTO THE SHADOWS.

HASSAN, GABRIELLE–

THEY, TOO, HAVE NOT BEEN OBSERVED.

CEDRIC

ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT.


But we knew better than to sink into false security.

MIRIAM

I DON’T KNOW WHO TO EXPECT TONIGHT.

CEDRIC

SO WE’RE GOING IN BLIND.

KEVIN

BASICALLY.


My father still busied himself with the fruit.

KEVIN

HEY JIA–

HOW’S THE REBUILD GOING?


I wanted to engage her. I suspected there was much hidden behind her tendency toward silence. She seemed surprised that I had chosen to talk to her.

JIA

OH–

IT’S GOING ALRIGHT.

I’M STAYING WITH MIRIAM RIGHT NOW.

AT THE VATORE MANSION.

IT’S A NICE PLACE.

STRAUD ASKED ME TO STAY THERE WHILE HE FOCUSED ON HIS WORK.

I WAS HAPPY TO OBLIGE.

MIRIAM HAS BEEN HELPING ME CARE FOR THE ORCHARDS.

WE DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THE FRUIT WHERE I COME FROM.


I looked at my father. Miriam had left the table and joined him as he prepared the drinks. I looked back to Jia.

KEVIN

STRAUD THINKS IT MAY VERY WELL SAVE US ALL.


Cedric thought to join us.

CEDRIC

WELL, WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

I LIKE EXERCISING MY ORGANS AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY, BUT IT’S STILL NO REPLACEMENT FOR THE HUNT.

YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM THE GRISLY REALITY OF WHAT WE ARE.

JIA

IT IS STRANGE, TO AGAIN EAT OF THE EARTH.

SO… COLD.


I was distracted by my father’s voice as he performed one of his favorite bartending tricks for Miriam. He could be a bit of a showboat.

CEDRIC

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH.


Jia seemed confused.

KEVIN

IT’S A TURN OF PHRASE–

CEDRIC

YOU CAN’T MAKE SOMETHING FROM NOTHING.

YOU CAN’T EXPECT TO GET SOMETHING WITHOUT ALSO GIVING SOMETHING.


She smiled slyly, looking at me.

JIA

BUT…

CAN’T YOU?

ISN’T THAT…

MAGIC?

KEVIN

EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN THEORIES.

WHERE DOES THE MIRACLE COME FROM?

SOME PEOPLE SAY IT WORKS THROUGH A SPONSOR, AN AVATAR.

OR PERHAPS ALL MAGIC IS ULTIMATELY RUN THROUGH THE DIVINE–

GREAT CREATURES OF INCREDIBLE POWER BEYOND OUR UNDERSTANDING WHO WATCH OUR EVERY MOVE.

BUT WHERE DOES IT ALL BEGIN?

HOW DOES IT MANIFEST?

ARE WE CREATING THE IMPETUS WITHIN OURSELVES–

OR ARE WE MANIPULATING ENERGIES ALREADY PRESENT IN THE ENVIRONMENT?


She pondered.

JIA

THE WEAVE?

THE…

DREAM?


My expression softened.

KEVIN

WHATEVER YOU CALL IT.


There was a clatter at the door. The knob turned and in stepped just three vampires: Straud and Tomas, we of course expected, but the third? It was Shelby Dawson, the fresh-faced female with whom he had recently begun to collaborate. That he came without his wives, in particular the one who counted herself a Tremere, was concerning.

STRAUD

TOMAS.

I TRUST THOSE IN ATTENDANCE HERE MEET WITH YOUR AGREEMENT?


Of course we all knew him. He had been Prince of the Big Apple for longer than I’d been alive.

TOMAS

YES, THIS WILL DO.

IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, VINCE.


My father raised his glass.

VINCENT

A TOAST TO DAVIAN HUGHES.

AND MY SON.


Straud closed the door.

KEVIN

IT–

WASN’T ANYTHING.

DAVIAN DID MOST OF THE WORK.

I’M JUST…

GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK, DAD.


There were eight of us in the room now and though we could all move freely, the air was… warm.

TOMAS

CERTAINLY THE CITY IS FORTUNATE TO HAVE YOU AGAIN.

STRAUD

WE MUST NOT FORGET TO HONOR OUR FRIENDS AMONG THE ENCHANTED.

THEY ARE A RARE LOT.

WE WILL NEED THEM IN THE COMING DAYS.


He looked about the room, eyeing all of us individually for a brief moment.

STRAUD

SHALL WE ALL TAKE A SEAT?

LET US OPEN THE DOCKET; I AM SURE WE ALL HAVE PLACES WE WOULD RATHER BE–

BUSINESS ELSEWHERE.

VINCENT, AS YOU APPEAR TO BE RIGHT AT HOME–

VINCENT

GLADLY.


Straud took his seat at the head of the table. Tomas sat on the opposite end and the rest of us filled in the sides.

STRAUD

THERE IS NO MYSTERY AS TO WHY I CALLED THIS MEETING, TOMAS.

SURELY NEWS HAS TRAVELED TO YOU; THERE IS LIKELY NOT A SOUL AMONG OUR KIND WHO HAS NOT YET HEARD.

HASSAN TALEB AND GABRIELLE ORLÉANS, IN THE FASHION OF THE DEMON-WORSHIPPERS OF YESTERYEAR, SUMMONED A HELLBEAST TO EARTH.

DOES THIS MEET WITH YOUR APPROVAL?

WERE YOU AWARE THAT THEY, AND LIKELY THE ENTIRE CLAN, HAVE SOUGHT FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE?

WORSE YET, THEY HAVE PUT THE OLD RITUALS INTO PRACTICE.

WHAT SAY YOU?


My father placed a plasma jane each on the table for Tomas and Shelby and took a seat at the table next to Straud.

Tomas blinked wistfully.

TOMAS

SHORT ANSWER: NO.

I DO NOT BELIEVE OUR KIND SHOULD MAKE ALLEGIANCE TO FOREIGN ACTORS, LEAST OF ALL THE DEMONIC.

WE KNOW ALL TOO WELL WHAT THEY WISH TO MAKE OF OUR WORLD.

I DO NOT CONDONE THIS.

I AM SHOCKED AND APPALLED TO DISCOVER DUPLICITY WITHIN MY KINDRED.

IF YOU RECALL, IT WAS I WHO UNIFIED THE DISPARATE CLANS OF OUR CITY UNDER ONE CROWN–

VINCENT

THAT WASN’T QUITE HOW IT HAPPENED.


Tomas backtracked, realizing he could not summarize or amend the histories with this audience.

TOMAS

I SUPPOSE IT IS NOT QUITE THAT SIMPLE–

MY PREDECESSOR HAD LAID MUCH OF THE GROUNDWORK, YES.

BUT IT WAS I WHO CREATED THE COUNCIL TO ENSURE THAT ALL IN OUR CITY, REGARDLESS OF WHAT MADE THEM DIFFERENT, REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY CALLED THEIR SIRE, HAD AN EQUAL VOICE.

I SUPPOSE IT IS TRUE THAT I NEVER REALLY BELIEVED IN THE CLANS.

I WANTED TO BELIEVE THAT IT WAS A WAY OF THE PAST, THAT WE WERE ALL VAMPIRES, REGARDLESS OF OUR PARTICULAR MANNERISMS AND AFFINITIES, AND THAT IT WAS TIME TO BIND TOGETHER TO ADDRESS THE GROWING THREATS TO THE MASQUERADE.

STRAUD

RIGHT NOW THE GREATEST DANGER COMES FROM WITHIN.

TOMAS

WE CANNOT SIMPLY BANISH THE TREMERE.

WITHOUT THE TREMERE, PEACE FALLS APART.

WE CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT THEIR SORCERY.

STRAUD

THEY MERELY PRACTICE THAUMATURGY, THEY ARE NOT THE SOURCE OF IT.

AND WHEN WE STAND AGAINST NEW JERSEY AND BROOKLYN, WE WILL LIKELY FIND THE WARLOCKS OUTMATCHED.

TOMAS

THEN LET US DETERMINE THE TREMERE THAT ARE LOYAL–

STRAUD

IT IS UNWISE TO BRING KNIVES TO A GUN FIGHT.

IF WE HAVE ANY HOPE OF TRULY ERADICATING THE CLANS–

I HAVE MY EYES SET ON THOSE YOU CALL THE SABBAT AND THE LASOMBRA–

THEN WE NEED TO GO FURTHER.


We all looked at him.

STRAUD

FIRST AND FOREMOST, AND I DO THINK WE ARE IN AGREEMENT HERE, WE MUST BRING THE BRONX BACK INTO OUR ALLIANCE.

I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT THEM TO THE TABLE WHEN I SOUGHT YOU, BUT I WAS NOT READY.

I KNEW THERE WERE THINGS THAT NEEDED TO BE DONE BEFORE WE COULD GREET THEM WITH WELCOME ARMS.


Straud’s aura burned with intensity. I could sense Tomas did not like being regarded as a subordinate, not with a title such as his, but not one of us would dare dispute the yellow-white halo around the figure at the head of the table.

TOMAS

JOHNNY AND I…

HAVE A HISTORY.

STRAUD

YOU’LL PUT IT BEHIND YOU.

TOMAS

THEY ARE MUSICIANS AND LAYABOUTS.

WE DO NOT NEED THEM.

STRAUD

WE NEED EVERYONE TO STAND UNITED.

YOU SAID YOURSELF YOU SOUGHT THE END OF THE DISCRIMINATION OF THE CLANS.

YOU WILL STAND BY THE LETTER OF YOUR WORD AND BRING THE NORTHERN BOROUGH INTO YOUR CAMARILLA.

TOMAS

THEY REFUSED MY OFFER.


Straud raised an eyebrow.

STRAUD

THEN PERHAPS YOU MUST CHANGE THE TERMS OF THE DEAL.

TELL THEM–

SHOW THEM–

THAT YOU HAVE CAST OUT THE TREMERE.


Tomas stood up in rage and slammed his palms upon the table.

TOMAS

JUST HOW MANY ENEMIES DO YOU WISH US TO HAVE?


But Straud remained cool.

STRAUD

BETTER A RIVAL–

THAN A FALSE FRIEND.

TOMAS

NOT ALL THE TREMERE DESERVE TO BE CATEGORIZED AS BETRAYERS!

STRAUD

I WILL LET YOU DECIDE ON YOUR OWN TIME WHO SHOULD WARM YOUR BED.

BUT LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THEY ARE NOT WELCOME IN MY CITY.

TOMAS

YOUR BOROUGH IS BUT ONE PART OF MY KINGDOM!


Straud narrowed his eyes and spoke in restrained fury.

STRAUD

IS THAT A CROSS YOU WILL DIE ON?


Tomas fumed, angry but quiet. He again took his seat.

STRAUD

I THINK YOU WILL FIND THAT MAKING AMENDS WILL BE EASIER THAN FORGING NEW CONNECTIONS.

WE MUST DO BOTH.

WE WILL NEED TO LOOK BEYOND IF WE HOPE TO REGAIN CONTROL–

NOT TO MENTION PREVENT THE REVEAL.


Tomas still seemed tense, but tried to remain civil.

TOMAS

WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING?

STRAUD

WE NEED MAGES TO HAVE ANY HOPE OF WINNING THIS WAR.

TOMAS

YOU PROPOSE EXILING THE TREMERE BUT WISH TO COURT THE ENCHANTED?

THEIR HATRED OF OUR KIND RUNS DEEP.

SECOND ONLY TO THE GAROU.

STRAUD

I AM AWARE.

BUT THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO MOST RULES.

TOMAS

I HEAR DAVIAN HUGHES HAS GONE MISSING.

ONE OF THE KINDRED GUARDS HIS HOME.


His face was still.

STRAUD

UNFORTUNATELY, IT IS THE TRUTH.

I FEAR FOR A WORLD WITHOUT HIS MODERATING PRESENCE.

BUT WE HAVE NO CHOICE; WE MUST CONTINUE ON WITHOUT HIM.

TOMAS

YOU HAVE THE GRADUATES OF YOUR SCHOOL.

IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?

VINCENT

THE MAGES MY WIFE HAS EDUCATED HAVE THEIR OWN VOICES.

THOUGH WE HAVE TRIED TO TEACH THEM TOLERANCE AND THE IMPORTANCE OF INFORMED SKEPTICISM, I REFUSE TO DRAFT THEM AS A BLOC INTO THIS WAR.

THEY MUST BE TREATED AS INDIVIDUALS.

AND BESIDES, MOST OF THEM KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT ME AND MY WORK.

THE SCHOOL IS MY WIFE’S VENTURE BY AND LARGE, I MOSTLY PROVIDE MORAL SUPPORT.


Tomas was unpersuaded.

TOMAS

FEW TRULY BELIEVE THAT.

THE GIRL FROM GORYEO HAS BEEN TAKEN IN BY A VAMPIRE A THOUSAND YEARS HER SENIOR.

WAS SHE RAISED TO VALUE EQUITY?

I SUPPOSE SHE SIMPLY FOLLOWED THE MODEL SET FORTH BY HER CARETAKER–


My father was not amused.

TOMAS

AND WHAT OF THE WITCH WHO BETRAYED YOUR COTERIE?

SHE SEEMED TO JUST BECOME PRIVY TO YOUR SECRETS WHEN SHE TOOK THEM AND RAN.

VINCENT

THEY MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS.

TOMAS

THEY ARE CHILDREN.

CHILDREN WHO PLAY WITH MATCHES.

STRAUD

WE CANNOT AFFORD TO DISMISS THEM ON THE BASIS OF THEIR AGE OR ABILITY.

TOMAS

SO YOU PROPOSE TO USE THEM AS A TOOL.

STRAUD

NO, I DO NOT PROPOSE THAT.

I PROPOSE WE ADDRESS THEM AS POTENTIAL ALLIES AND FRIENDS.

EQUALS.

SOMETHING NEITHER SIDE SEEMS WILLING TO DO.

WE ARE MORE ALIKE THAN WE ARE DIFFERENT.

TOMAS

I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN AGREE WITH YOU ON THAT.

STRAUD

I WON’T INSULT YOU BY BELABORING THE POINT.

I MERELY ASK THAT YOU CONSIDER MY PERSPECTIVE.


Tomas looked about the table.

STRAUD

BUT REGARDLESS OF YOUR PREJUDICE, DESERVED OR IMAGINED, LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I INTEND TO EXPAND THE RANKS OF THOSE WE COUNT AS OUR PARTNERS.

THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE WANTED TO CHAMPION FOR A LONG TIME BUT I BELIEVE THE NEED IS ONLY BECOMING MORE DIRE.

I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT THE DOCTOR TRELAINE IS RAISING HIS OWN BAND OF FOLLOWERS BEYOND THE VAMPIRE.

I DO NOT INTEND TO BE LEFT IN THE DUST, SO TO SPEAK.

TOMAS

THE MAGES WILL NEVER TRUST US.

STRAUD

I DO NOT BELIEVE THEIR MISGIVING IS SO MONOLITHIC.

WE MUST BE JUDICIOUS AND PATIENT.

WE WILL SHOW THEM THAT WE ARE MORE TOGETHER THAN WE ARE DIVIDED.

AND–


He looked toward me.

STRAUD

I INTEND TO INSTATE KEVIN MARSCAPONE AS OUR AMBASSADOR.

HE HAS SHOWN HIMSELF TO HAVE EXCEPTIONAL ABILITY, ENDURANCE, AND LOYALTY.

I BELIEVE HE, AS THE HEIR TO THE FOUNDLING HOME, CAN DEMONSTRATE TO ALL OF THE EXTRANATURAL THAT WE ARE A FORCE FOR PROGRESS, FELLOWSHIP, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, GOOD.


I was stunned into silence. Tomas spoke before I had the wherewithall.

TOMAS

THAT’S A RICKETY BRIDGE YOU STAND ON, COUNT.

CONTENTIOUS TO SAY THE LEAST.

SURELY YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR DECISION TO PERVERT THE PATH OF THE VAMPIRE DID NOT MEET WITH UNIVERSAL ACCLAIM.

STRAUD

YOU, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, WERE CALLED TO BE FREE.

BUT DO NOT USE YOUR FREEDOM TO INDULGE THE FLESH; RATHER, SERVE ONE ANOTHER HUMBLY IN LOVE.

VINCENT

GALATIANS, CHAPTER 5, VERSE 13.

TOMAS

YOU WILL NOT WIN OVER THE KINDRED BY QUOTING THE NEW TESTAMENT.

STRAUD

MY POINT STILL STANDS.

WE ALL STOOD HAND IN HAND IN THE GREAT WAR AND I BELIEVE WE CAN DO IT AGAIN.

TOMAS

THE WORLD IS A DIFFERENT PLACE THAN IT WAS.

STRAUD

I DO NOT BUY INTO THAT RHETORIC.

LET THE ELDERS TEACH THE YOUNGER.

LET THE CHILDREN HEAR THE OLD WISDOM AND GROW FROM IT, SEE ITS VALUE.

THAT IS WHAT THE MARSCAPONES HAVE ALWAYS STOOD FOR.

ONLY IF WE STAND TOGETHER CAN WE PRESERVE THIS DELICATE PLANET AGAINST THE FORCES THAT DARE TO CONSUME IT, SNUFF OUT ITS LIGHT SHINING IN THE DARKNESS.

TOMAS

SOME OF US LIKE THE DARK.

STRAUD

AND YET, WITHOUT THE SUN, WE WOULD ALL CEASE TO BE.


He could not contest the point.

TOMAS

COUNT, I WANT AS MUCH AS YOU DO TO WREST CONTROL OF BROOKLYN FROM THE FANATICS.

AND I AM BEGINNING TO REALIZE THAT THE POLITICS BREWING ACROSS THE HUDSON ARE AN ISSUE BEST NOT ALLOWED TO FESTER.


He paused.

TOMAS

I WILL TAKE YOUR ADVICE AND ADDRESS THE ANARCHS.

BEST WE NOT LET THEM FALL TO FOREIGN INFLUENCE, I CAN SEE THAT.


He looked at me again and I could not place his feeling. Perhaps he, like so many others, were confused, and even revolted, by what I stood for.

TOMAS

BUT I REMAIN UNCONVINCED THAT WE CAN SO CASUALLY HOPE FOR FRIENDSHIP AMONG THE ENCHANTED.

WE HAVE OUR OWN WAYS TO ACCOMPLISH MUCH OF WHAT THEIR TALENT GIVES THEM.

THAT IS WHY–

STRAUD

THAUMATURGY IS VERY DIFFERENT THAN THE CRAFT.

ONE IS NOT MEANT TO USURP THE OTHER.

THAT IS THE WORLD TALEB AND ORLÉANS WISH TO SEE, BUT I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO STOP THAT VISION FROM BECOMING REALITY.

IF YOU CAN RALLY ANY TREMERE TO STAND AGAINST THEM, I WILL BE GLAD FOR IT.

BUT I FEAR THE CORRUPTION RUNS DEEP AND WILL BE DIFFICULT TO ERADICATE.

TOMAS

I WILL NOT SO EASILY CAST OUT MY BELOVED.

SHE AND HER CLAN WERE GOING TO BRING BLOOD MAGIC TO THE KINDRED, TO MAKE US WHOLE WHERE WE WERE IGNORANT.

STRAUD

THE DISLOYAL WILL GET WHAT THEIR CONDUCT DESERVES.

I DO NOT INTEND TO INTERFERE IN YOUR DOMAIN BUT I IMPLORE YOU TO NOT SUFFER A FOOL.


He pursed his lips.

STRAUD

THE TREMERE FANCY THEMSELVES AS THE ONLY KEEPERS OF THE SECRETS, BUT IT IS NOT TRUE.

THEIR CLAN IS YOUNG.

THEY STOLE MORE THAN THEY INNOVATED.

THE DISCIPLINE PREDATES THEIR KINSHIP AND WILL ENDURE EVEN AS THEY DISSOLVE INTO HISTORY.

THERE ARE OTHERS THAT CAN BRING THE KINDRED THE ANCIENT WISDOMS.

YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT YOU DREAMT OF BREAKING DOWN THE BARRIERS THAT DIVIDE THE CLANS.

I SHARE YOUR VISION.

LET US TAKE THE FIRST STEP.


Tomas seemed hesitant. Straud rose from his chair and looked out the window toward the stage, empty, quiet, but still set with scenery from the last performance.

STRAUD

YES, THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS I STARTED THIS PLACE.

I MADE IT CLEAR THAT ALL WERE WELCOME IN THIS PLACE OF PEACE - VAMPIRE, MAGE, GAROU, TO NAME A FEW, BUT BEYOND EVEN THAT.

AND YET I DID NOT ENVISION A UTOPIA BY VIRTUE OF SAMENESS IN SHARED BLINDNESS.

NO, I HAVE SEEN THAT BEFORE AND IT LEADS ONLY TO RUIN.

THE WORLD I WISH TO FOSTER IS ONE WHERE DIFFERENCES ARE LAUDED RATHER THAN MADE SILENT.

A WISE MAN WARS AGAINST EXTINCTION ITSELF.

WE ARE THE STEWARDS, THE PRESERVERS, THE ANTIQUARIANS, OF A SORT.

YOU AND I MAY DIFFER ON THE METHODS, BUT OUR GOALS ARE THE SAME.

I BELIEVE WE STAND TOGETHER.


Straud approached Tomas.

STRAUD

THESE TRIALS WILL NOT BE EASY OR PLEASANT, BUT THEY ARE WORTH DOING.

THIS WORLD, WITH ALL ITS STRANGE CREATURES AND CUSTOMS, IS WORTH OUR EFFORTS.


He held out his hand to Tomas.

STRAUD

CAN I CONTINUE TO CALL YOU MY FRIEND?


With eyes locked completely on the Count, Tomas paused a moment, considering. Then he rose from his chair.

TOMAS

YES, COUNT.


He paused.

TOMAS

YOU HAVE MY WORD.


They shook hands.


There were a few more things said but none of it was quite so important. We discussed some of the more prominent magicking families that remained in the city but it was clear that Straud only intended to provide support on this venture. To win their favor would be my task. My parents might be able to help, but they represented the old way of doing things. Virtually all the Extranatural in the city were familiar with my family name. The story of Straud’s cure had made me famous in my own right. Both vampire and mage regarded me as somewhat of a misfit as I really was neither creature while I bore the burden of both. It would take a careful hand to convince them that I was anything worth watching by virtue of my own feats rather than my origin story.

To earn the respect of the Enchanted, I would have to continue to develop my Talent. Though I had come a long way in six, seven years, I still had nothing on the witches and wizards who’d been working their Craft for their entire lives. I could manipulate elements - create ice and flame. I could interfere with fields of physical potential: gravity, magnetism. It hadn’t taken me long to master the very basics of teleportation but I needed to go further with it, truly adopt it fearlessly as part of my toolkit as my mother had.

And still other areas of expertise eluded my grasp. I had once been a competent shapeshifter under my father’s tutelage, but a mage needed a completely different approach to morph one’s own flesh. Most vampires used their affinity with the Beast to grasp at the Protean but for the Enchanted, the task was anything but innate. My mother would be of little help here, as she had never discovered how to work the spell.

And, of course, I would need to find my secret to immortality. Working magic was known to extend one’s life somewhat - certainly that had helped my mother maintain her energy into what was now her 125th year - but to perservere centuries and beyond - only true immortality could grant that to a mage. I had no idea where to even begin but I knew time would keep marching along ceaselessly and it would fall to me to resist the tendency to be dragged along with it.

Tomas left with Shelby in tow. Our meeting had been brief but productive, leaving all in attendance with an intense desire to continue doing what they did best.

Miriam and my father made motion that they wished to speak to Straud. Jia seemed unsure of where she belonged. She was still new to our coterie and lacked a coherent niche in the group. I knew very little about her, but she had a spritely attitude that I appreciated. Though she was not a child of this century as were Cedric and myself, I could not help but want to draw her closer to us as she floated at the periphery. And yet I sensed there were things about her I did not yet know…

KEVIN

HEY JIA, WE’RE HEADING BACK HOME.

ARE YOU STAYING?

YOU’RE WELCOME TO COME WITH.


She looked hesitantly toward the other Elders, her gaze lingering for a moment upon Straud.

JIA

I THINK I’LL STAY HERE.

MIRIAM AND I CAME TOGETHER.


I suppose, despite her reserve, she had more in common with them than with the two of us.

KEVIN

SOUNDS GOOD.

SEE YOU AROUND.


She smiled and waved at me.

JIA

再見.


Cedric and I retrieved our things and left the room. The Blue Velvet was still hopping, oblivious to our meeting, most of them thinking our kind the stuff of imagination and make-believe. I wasn’t sure I agreed with the Camarilla and their insistence to uphold this status quo, but to uncover the truth would obliterate their fantasy, destroy their science, shake their faith in the observable universe. It troubled me to see them go about their lives in a grey cloud, the wool pulled over their eyes. I wanted to believe that they could handle the truth - certainly in my gut I felt they deserved it, but I was not about to bring about world revolution under the arrogant delusion that I would be hailed a hero.

But those were thoughts for another day, a day when I would be wiser, stronger, greater.

Cedric and I are quiet as we move through the crowds and exit the bar. Frankie still watched the door, a stalwart guardian.

FRANKIE

YOUR DAD STILL DOWN THERE?

KEVIN

YEAH, THEY’RE STILL TALKING BUT I WANT TO GET HOME AND MAKE SURE MY MOTHER’S ALRIGHT.

SHE DOESN’T LIKE BEING HOME ALONE IF SHE CAN HELP IT.

FRANKIE

TELL THE OLD BROAD I SAY HELLO.

KEVIN

WILL DO, FRANKIE.

TAKE IT EASY.

FRANKIE

YOU TOO, CONJURER.

DAYWALKER?


He refers to Cedric.

CEDRIC

G’NIGHT, FRANKIE.

SEE YA LATER.


We leave the shadow of the Blue Velvet and fade into the streets, bidding adieu, if only for a night, to the chaos of our little local corner of Elysium.

Though the cold was anything but unwelcome to him, Cedric walks with his hands concealed in his pockets. We largely keep our eyes ahead, scanning for danger as we talk, turning to face each other only as convention demanded.

CEDRIC

SOME PROMOTION YOU GOT TONIGHT.

GRATS.


My expression softened, reminded of old times, looking at him as we walked side-by-side. But he was still alert, eyes elsewhere.

KEVIN

THANKS…

I DON’T KNOW IF I’VE EARNED IT–

CEDRIC

YOU’RE TOO MODEST.

I DON’T KNOW THAT ANY OF US WORK AS HARD AS YOU DO.

… VLAD, I GUESS.

BUT YOU’RE NEXT ON THE LIST.


I don’t know that it was true, but it was nice of him to say.

KEVIN

MANDARC IS GETTING A DEGREE.

ENGAGING WITH THE WORLD AROUND HIM.

MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR MYSELF.

CEDRIC

YEAH WELL, WE’LL SEE HOW THAT PANS OUT FOR HIM.

KIDDO’S GOT SOME LOFTY ASPIRATIONS BUT I’M WORRIED.

KEVIN

HIM AND YUKI?

CEDRIC

THAT’S JUST A SYMPTOM OF A LARGER ISSUE.

HE’S OBSESSED WITH THE WORLD OF THE MUNDANE.

THIS WHOLE COLLEGE THING WITH HIM IS JUST ASKING FOR TROUBLE.

I WAS LESS CONCERNED ABOUT IT WHEN YOU WERE GOING TO GO WITH HIM.

SUPERVISE HIM.

MAKE SURE HE DIDN’T MAKE A FOOL OF HIMSELF.

SOMETIMES I REALLY WONDER WHAT HE’S GOT RATTLING AROUND IN THAT BRAIN OF HIS.

KEVIN

THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO LEARN.

CEDRIC

YEAH WELL IT ONLY TAKES ONE MISPLACED WORD FOR SOMEONE TO GET CURIOUS.

OR HE DOESN’T GET FAR ENOUGH FROM THE CAMPUS BEFORE HE TURNS INTO A BAT–

KEVIN

HE’S NOT A TOTAL MORON.

CEDRIC

YEAH, I KNOW.

BUT HE’S CARELESS AT TIMES.

NAÏVE.

AND HE CAN’T LIE TO SAVE HIS LIFE.

KEVIN

HE’S NEVER KNOWN LIFE OUT THERE.

CEDRIC

HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW GOOD HE’S GOT IT.

WHY ANYONE WOULD CHOOSE THAT WORLD WHEN THEY LIVE A LIFE OF LUXURY HERE IS BEYOND ME.

KEVIN

GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER–

CEDRIC

YEAH, I GUESS.

I JUST HOPE HE GROWS OUT OF IT.

KEVIN

I THINK HE WILL.

HE HASN’T REALLY BEEN WITH US ALL THAT LONG.

IT FEELS LIKE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN HERE, BUT I THINK HE’S JUST STARTING TO GET COMFORTABLE, BE HIMSELF.

YEAH, I AGREE THAT HE’S A LITTLE NAÏVE, BUT WE NEED A LITTLE OF THAT OPTIMISM.

CEDRIC

FIREPOWER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SUNSHINE AND DAISIES.


I laughed.

KEVIN

I THINK WE’VE GOT THAT COVERED.


I wanted to say something I’d been thinking about.

KEVIN

I DIDN’T KNOW–


He knew to what I referred before I could get out the compliment.

CEDRIC

YEAH–

THANKS.

STILL NOT ANYTHING COMPARED TO WHAT OTHERS CAN DO.

AND IT’S NOT WHAT VLAD HAD WANTED ME TO DO.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO START WITH WATER.

KEVIN

THAT’S NOT WHAT WE NEEDED THEN.

WHAT–

WERE WE GOING TO GIVE THE THING A COLD SHOWER?

A BUBBLE BATH?

CEDRIC

YEAH, WELL.


We were quiet a moment.

KEVIN

YOU SEEN ANYTHING IN THE DREAM LATELY?


He hesitated. I hoped I had not struck a nerve.

CEDRIC

…

YEAH, I HAVE.

BUT NOTHING GOOD.

KEVIN

…

ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?


I knew better than to press him but I also wanted him to know that he didn’t have to bear this alone.

CEDRIC

IT’S…

THINGS I THOUGHT I HAD PUT BEHIND ME.

STUFF FROM LONG AGO.

BEFORE I CAME HERE, BEFORE…

BEFORE I KNEW WHAT I WAS.

KEVIN

WHEN YOU WERE A KID?

CEDRIC

… YEAH.


He rarely spoke about this. I knew next to nothing about his life before he came to the orphanage.

KEVIN

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE DREAM IS TRYING TO TELL YOU?

CEDRIC

I DON’T KNOW.

FOR SO LONG I THOUGHT MY BLOCK WAS BECAUSE I HADN’T EVER PROCESSED SVETLANA’S DEATH.

IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST; ONE MOMENT SHE WAS HERE, THE NEXT VLAD WAS TELLING ME I’D NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.


He paused.

CEDRIC

BUT MAYBE MY ISSUE GOES FURTHER BACK.

I DON’T WANT TO ADMIT IT, IT MAKES ME ANGRY AND I HATE IT, BUT MAYBE I NEED TO TIE UP THE PAST BEFORE I CAN MOVE ON.

I AM READY TO MOVE ON, THAT’S FOR SURE, I JUST NEED TO…

I DON’T KNOW.

FIGURE OUT WHAT I’M DOING.


I let him speak.

CEDRIC

I THOUGHT ABOUT IT A LOT.

AVAEL, SVETLANA.

I LOVED THEM SO MUCH, LET THEM BECOME A PART OF ME.

BUT I KEPT A LITTLE BIT OF MYSELF FROM THEM, TOO, NEVER LETTING MYSELF GET TOO CLOSE, IN THE FEAR THEY’D TRASH IT, BREAK IT–

BREAK ME.

I GUESS–


He lowered his voice.

CEDRIC

I NEED TO GET OVER MY MOTHER.


In all the years we had known each other, I’m not sure he had ever spoken of this.

CEDRIC

SHE–

NEVER WANTED ME.

AND I THINK, BY EXTENSION, FOR A LONG TIME–

I NEVER WANTED ME EITHER.


He had always spoken in anger about how my parents had raised me, but I thought, maybe, it could have been worse.

CEDRIC

I DON’T THINK I WANT TO GO BACK THERE, TRY TO FIND OUT IF SHE’S LIVING OR DEAD.

I DON’T THINK EITHER ANSWER WOULD BRING ME MUCH PEACE.

I HAVE A MORBID CURIOSITY BUT ULTIMATELY I THINK MY GOAL IS TO LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST.

I JUST CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SHUT THE DAMN DOOR.

KEVIN

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT YOU WERE BORN.


He laughed a little.

CEDRIC

HA.

SAME SHIT I KEEP TELLING YOU.


I smiled.

KEVIN

WELL, THEN YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE.

UNLESS YOU’VE BEEN FEEDING ME PLATITUDES AND LIES.

CEDRIC

HEH.

IT’S WORSE FOR YOU.

YOU’RE SURROUNDED BY REMINDERS OF WHAT WAS.

AND NOW VLAD IS INSISTING YOU MOVE FORWARD WITH THE SCHOOL, GIVE OTHERS AN EDUCATION YOU NEVER YOURSELF RECEIVED…

KEVIN

IT’LL BE ALRIGHT.

I’LL GET THE CHANCE TO DO THINGS MY WAY.

I HAVE A GOOD IDEA OF WHAT NOT TO DO.

CEDRIC

I GUESS THAT’S SOMETHING.


We were nearing the end of our journey. Here, away from the shops and restaurants, the streets were dark and quiet.

KEVIN

HEY…

JUST–


I didn’t know what to say.

KEVIN

I KNOW WE ALL WALK OUR OWN PATH AND IT’S GOING TO TAKE TIME, BUT–


I tried to find the right words.

KEVIN

IF YOU EVER NEED HELP WITH WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO–

I–

IF YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING–


We caught each other’s gaze.

CEDRIC

YEAH, I KNOW.


We were on our street now. We stopped in front of the dark bricked old house. I could hear the wind howl as it whipped through the alleys.

CEDRIC

THANKS, KEV.

I APPRECIATE IT.


He smiled, if only just, body turned toward leaving.

CEDRIC

‘NIGHT.