CEDRIC//

I witnessed my first vision this morning.

VLAD//

That is good. It is good that your soul has not been too far severed from the Dream.

CEDRIC//

No, it seems not.

VLAD//

You seem troubled.

CEDRIC//

No, I'm not troubled, I just... I saw Svetlana.

VLAD//

That is not surprising. She was deeply connected to the Umbra. As such, she will always be close to you. You two are bound together deeply. Were you scared by what you saw?

CEDRIC//

I think I was searching for what she was like in her younger days.

VLAD//

That may be. When you are tied to a spirit as you are, you will find there are things you did not previously know. It will be enlightening, exhilirating. It will be exhausting.

CEDRIC//

I did not feel exhausted, I felt invigorated.

VLAD//

Her soul was glad to make contact.

CEDRIC//

I was happy to look upon her face again. Although there was something different about her.

VLAD//

If I may be so bold, I do not think there was anything changed in her, but something changed in you.

CEDRIC//

Why would it be reflected in such a way?

VLAD//

You were not looking at yourself, you were looking upon her. Your eye -- the portal to inner mystery -- has had a glass put over its aperture.

CEDRIC//

I don't want to change. I want her to recognize me.

VLAD//

Oh, I would not worry about that. It is as if you acquired a new pair of glasses. You may look older or younger, but your essential character is not changed.

CEDRIC//

I never thought the look suited me.

VLAD//

We cannot truly alter what it is others see in us. Just as you saw things in her greater than she possibly could imagine.

CEDRIC//

What troubles me is that her face... Seemed different.

VLAD//

She was many things to many people. You are seeing things you must incorporate into your perception.

CEDRIC//

I wanted to save her. I knew she would perish but I was convinced, with my facility with Time, that I could go to the Time & Place that Was, and change the future.

VLAD//

You understand the Prohibition against attempting to overwrite the Prime Timeline.

CEDRIC//

I do. Myrtle instilled in me that fear long ago.

VLAD//

And good she did. You will learn how to bring about change in a great many things but you must never think yourself so proud that you'd impress your Time upon the World.

CEDRIC//

How is it that Davian did not invoke Paradox?

VLAD//

You know this answer but you wish to hear me repeat it. That is the right of the student. The Marscapones were a special case because in neither case had their souls left our realm. In the case of Vincent, I cannot say for certain why, but his consciousness was tied to that of his son's. And as for his mother, he captured her soul before it dissolved into the ether.

CEDRIC//

Is that what we should do?

STRAUD//

Tether souls and forbid them the hope of rebirth?

CEDRIC//

What if there is nothing after Death?

VLAD//

That is a risk we have no choice but to fear.

CEDRIC//

I didn't see anything when I floated between vessels.

VLAD//

Just because you do not remember the experience doesn't mean it didn't happen. You should learn to put less faith in your ordinary senses.

CEDRIC//

If I can't rely on my senses, what can I rely on?

VLAD//

You will know when the time comes.

CEDRIC//

I came up with some putrid catchphrase. S.O.S. : Save Our Svetlana. As if there were anything humorous about this loss.

VLAD//

I do not think you were trying to invoke laughter, but merely trying to minimize your immeasurable grief. It is too great a burden for you to comprehend, much less overcome.

CEDRIC//

I'll never get over her.

VLAD//

Nor would I want or expect you to.

CEDRIC//

I feel guilty that I'm still here without her. It doesn't feel --

VLAD//

Right?

CEDRIC//

Yeah.

VLAD//

She would be relieved, that you still fight to preserve the planet she loved so much.

CEDRIC//

What if that's not what she wanted? What if she would want us to mourn her so that she knew she was loved?

VLAD//

Perhaps. I think a grain of such a desire exists in each of us. But she would want you to care for Dexter and his offspring.

CEDRIC//

It's all I have left.

VLAD//

I'm grateful you have taken so readily to looking after them.

CEDRIC//

It hasn't been easy.

VLAD//

Nothing worth doing is.

CEDRIC//

I don't know if I agree with that. Sometimes the joy of doing overcomes the limitations imposed by strife.

VLAD//

We find ways to mask the struggle, even from ourselves. It is in stillness that we are overcome with doubt.

CEDRIC//

But it is only then I can feel her presence.

VLAD//

You will learn to see her when you wish it. She is always with you.

CEDRIC//

No, she is not always with me. I have to reach out to Dream to have her with me.

VLAD//

Your powers will grow. You must practice patience.

CEDRIC//

Time seems like the one thing we don't have.

VLAD//

You will reach out to the Umbra and comprehend its timelessness. What is, has always been.

CEDRIC//

What isn't, never will be.

VLAD//

You are seeking self-damnation. Do not condemn hope so readily. Your pain is real but do not become blinded by its strike.


// STRAUD MANSION //


I could not yet do what he’d asked me to do. Conjuration: Water. Something that was once easy for me. Something I once knew how to do.

He insisted it was not the same. That I was collapsing matter into a measurable point. An elementalist was not that much different from one who practiced divine magicks, he said. It was a matter of favor and favors.

Becoming a thaumaturgist, a blood sorcerer, a Dreamer, this was something different entirely. I was using the tenuous link between the Umbra and our own universe to create change. And thus, I should not expect it to be anything like what I’d done before, when I was a Mage. I could not use the same channels, and I should not expect the same results. But it was impossible, or at least, difficult, for me to change my expectations.

STRAUD

YOU EXPECT A LOT OF YOURSELF. PLEASE ALLOW YOURSELF TIME TO CHANGE.

CEDRIC

DAMMIT STRAUD!!

WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ME TO MEMORIZE TIMES TABLES!!


He merely stared back at me with a stern expression upon his face.

STRAUD

IF YOU FORCE THINGS, YOU’LL BREAK.

THAT IS SOMETHING WE CANNOT AFFORD.

CEDRIC

I USED TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS!

STRAUD

ARE YOU NOT DIFFERENT NOW?


I could regard myself without the help of a mirror. A scar ran down between my eyebrows, culminating beneath my right eye. That, combined with my bleached hair, meant my childhood companions would scarcely recognize me.

But my visage was not the only part of me that had changed.

STRAUD

WAS IT NOT THIS VERY MONTH, SOME YEARS AGO, THAT YOU FOUND YOURSELF RISEN FROM BEYOND THE PALE?

CEDRIC

I DON’T THINK THAT PHRASE MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.

STRAUD

WAS IT NOT THE MONTH OF APRIL?

CEDRIC

YOU’RE TOYING WITH ME.

STRAUD

YOU CANNOT WALK FORWARD IF YOU KEEP YOUR EYE FACED AWAY.

FIND THE WATER IN THE DREAM.

CEDRIC

I CAN’T FOCUS IF YOU KEEP STARING AT ME!!

STRAUD

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PRIVACY ON THE BATTLEFIELD.

DO IT!!

CEDRIC

WHY WATER?

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE SOMETHING SO FAR FROM WHAT I KNOW?

STRAUD

WHAT WOULD YOU PREFER?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONJURE FIRE INSTEAD?

BRING ABOUT THE AGENT OF YOUR OWN DESTRUCTION?

END YOUR PITIFUL EXISTENCE HERE AND NOW?


I did not know what I wanted. I was just frustrated and confused.

CEDRIC

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS?

YOU’VE PROVIDED ME NO INSTRUCTION!

STRAUD

WHY SHOULD I BOTHER TRYING TO TEACH YOU WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW?

CEDRIC

YOU SAID –

STRAUD

FORGET WHAT I SAID.