WEASLIE MOTORCYCLE, I-70W


The mood of the two cyclists has chilled since their last encounter in Forgotten Hallow. The snow here is less, admittedly, but only the weather has warmed up.

The pair have driven all night, making only the shortest of stops to stretch their legs and chug potions. The young BRONALD WEASLIE, of the famous wizarding family, had made a secret alliance with FRIDAY PERKINS, who decided to betray her former friendship with MANDARC & STRAUD.

PERKINS made one last stand and attempted violence against her former lover, MANDARC, which failed miserably. She left a few noxious poisons smelling up STRAUD’s stoop, but otherwise inflicted no true damage. Embarrassed, she called in her new friend, WEASLIE.

WEASLIE drove in on his souped-up motorcycle and picked up the young witch and drove off in a cloud of snow, headed for his family home, located West in Saint Louie.

It has been a long ride; the pair driving on the freeway through the night. They pass a sign: Denny’s, Burger King, Waffle House. They had made an agreement to stop soon.

WEASLIE pulls into the right lane and exits at the next opportunity. PERKINS points to the bright yellow sign and they pull into the parking lot. WEASLIE locks his cycle and PERKINS checks out the arcane cigarette machine standing guard outside the entrance.

PERKINS

YOU THINK THIS THING WORKS?


The machine has a strange mix, some rows old and dusty, another with more modern packages.

WEASLIE

COULDN’T TELL YA. BUT I’LL SHARE WITH YOU.


WEASLIE fishes a wallet from inside his coat.

STRANGER

(walking up) THING AIN’T WORKED IN MONTHS. THINK THEY’RE GONNA ABANDON IT. TRY THE GAS STATION OVER THERE. (pointing)


The STRANGER walks past them and walks into the Waffle House.

WEASLIE

YOU GET A TABLE, I’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

PERKINS

OK.


PERKINS walks into the restaurant.

WAITRESS

WELCOME. SIT ANYWHERE. SORRY ABOUT THE MACHINE.

PERKINS

IT’S OKAY.


PERKINS sits awkwardly by herself in an overstuffed leather booth. The WAITRESS brings a thick ceramic mug and pours dark coffee.

PERKINS

I’VE GOT A FRIEND JOINING ME.

WAITRESS

ONE MORE?

PERKINS

ONE MORE.


In a moment, a second cup of coffee is wafting warm scent over the table. Two laminated menus sit across from each other. PERKINS looks longingly at the empty seat when she hears the dinging of the door’s bell. It’s WEASLIE returning. He sits down opposite from her and pushes the coffee into a convenient position.

WEASLIE

WOULD YOU LIKE THAT CIGARETTE?

PERKINS

SURE.


Cold air blasts them as they step outside again. WEASLIE is protected in his leather riding jacket but PERKINS is a little less protected; she is wearing a cheap plastic coat they picked up at a department store on the way out of town. Potions can protect a sorceress from many things but not the road’s flying detritus.

‘FSSS…’ A new lighter flashes to life and the pair are sharing a moment.

They both consider making light conversation but they’re just so exhausted all they can do is focus on their cigarettes in silence.

PERKINS

I GUESS ALL THE GRANDFATHERING IS OVER? SURE WOULD LIKE TO SMOKE THIS INSIDE.

WEASLIE

YEARS AGO, I SUPPOSE.


The barest of crinkles as the papers burn. Soon they’re out of cigarette and they go back inside.

PERKINS plops undelicately on the right side of the booth; WEASLIE has his back to the entrance.

WAITRESS

(gruff) DO Y’ALL KNOW WHAT YOU WANT?

WEASLIE

(quickly) WAFFLE, SIDE OF HASH.

PERKINS

AND, UH – I’LL HAVE THE SAME.


The WAITRESS picks up the menus and takes them away. PERKINS looks out the window at idled cars for a moment before trying to get WEASLIE’s eye-contact. A pair behind them is talking loudly in a foreign language, distracting her.

PERKINS

SO. I WAS EXPECTING YOU TO BE A LOT OLDER.

(pause) AND I THOUGHT YOU HAD A CHEVY. SOME OLD –

WEASLIE

CADILLAC, BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER.

WEASLIE

THAT’S MY GREAT-UNCLE. SAME NAME; ‘THANKS MA’.


The conversation hangs as a pink elephant enters the table.

PERKINS

SO…. VOUS ÊTES… ?

WEASLIE

(with reluctant force) NO, I AM NOT – AND STOP IT – I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT AGAIN. I AM LIKE YOU, ONLY LESS ADVANCED ALONG THE PATH. I AM LIKE MY MOTHER, I AM LIKE MY FATHER.

(pause) MY PARENTS SAW HIM AS SOME KIND OF WAR HERO. BUT I’M NOT HIM. SORRY IF I’M NOT WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING.

PERKINS

NO IT’S FINE. I’M JUST SURPRISED, IS ALL. SO YOU’RE NOT SOME ANCIENT OLD MAN, OH NO.


The WAITRESS comes by to fill up their mugs.

PERKINS

SO WHERE’S YOUR FAMILY HOME?

WEASLIE

SINCE MOM PASSED IT’S BECOME MY HOME. (pause) IT’S JUST OUTSIDE OF SAINT LOUIE.

PERKINS

AH.

WEASLIE

SO YOU’VE NEVER SEEN THE GATEWAY?

PERKINS

NOT IN PERSON, NO. MYRTLE TOOK ME MY FIRST TIME.

WEASLIE

WELL YOU’RE IN FOR A TREAT.