I had been spliting my time between the two houses, Marscapone and Vatore. But I had brought the cat with me to the Vatore Mansion to be co-parented by Miriam. I couldn’t bear Toonces with her daughter. The two cats barely got along anymore.

Miriam was a good cat caretaker and I appreciated her presence. Removing Toonces from the pressure of mothering was the right action for the cat. She’s never quite been the same since we got her spayed. But I can see how that would invoke a change in the creature.

I was less afraid to practice in Vlad’s realm. I would have to put my promise to the Marscapones on hold for now. I would be of more use to everyone if I could just overcome this block.

But to empty my mind, that was what I found difficult. I knew that a mental misstep could make very real disaster. And what’s more, I seemed only to be able to empty my mind in the end of the night. I would be of no use to anyone if I were sleeping at the time of the attack. I was capable of going without daysleep, and the sooner I mastered this power, the better off we’d all be. But I thought it best to try to be patient as I needed the energy to get through the tasks set before me.

It was a clear, crisp evening when I finally saw to message Sebastian. I was in the Vatore Mansion.

CEDRIC

SEBASTIAN, DO YOU HAVE THE TIME FOR ME ANYTIME SOON?


It was a large request to ask him to use a portal, but it was now or never.

SEBASTIAN

I CAN BE THERE IN AN HOUR.


Of course he would pencil me in immediately, leaving me no time to prepare.

CEDRIC

I’M AT THE OLD VATORE PLACE.


I bound upstairs and find Miriam painting. The smell of turpentine fills the air but it doesn’t bother me. She is painting something abstract and I can’t yet tell what it’s going to be; this is something Auspex can’t help me with.

CEDRIC

MIRIAM, SEBASTIAN IS GOING TO BE OVER SOON.

MIRIAM

AH YES.

I SENSED YOU MIGHT BE SEEKING HIS COUNCIL.

HE IS WISE AND POWERFUL. HE WILL HELP YOU.


She put her paints away quickly, wordlessly. It was something only an adept of Celerity would fully appreciate.

CEDRIC

PERHAPS THAT IS WHAT I REALLY FEAR.

I’LL OWE HIM ONE.

MIRIAM

THE ONLY BAD RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE ONES WE DON’T CULTIVATE.

CEDRIC

NOW I KNOW YOU DON’T BELIEVE THAT.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST DON’T OBEY THE LAWS OF SOCIETY.

MIRIAM

IS THAT WHAT YOU FEAR, LAWLESSNESS? CHAOS? ORDER FALLING INTO DISORDER?

CEDRIC

THAT WOULD MARK THE COMING OF THE END OF ALL.

MIRIAM

YOU MUST SEEK TO IGNORE SOME OF THE SIGNS, BECAUSE ONCE YOU START TO LOOK FOR THEM, YOU’LL SEE THEM IN EVERYTHING AND YOU’LL GET NO REST BECAUSE YOU’RE CONSTANTLY AWASH WITH PROPHECY.

QUIET YOUR MIND.


And suddenly I had nothing to say and I allowed the room to be silent.

I was working on the skill of being one with my pain, rather than trying to foist it onto others.

MIRIAM

YOU AND HE HAVE A SHARED FRIEND, DO YOU NOT?

LET THE EMPTINESS AND GRIEF FILL THE SPACE BETWEEN YOU.

KEEP ONE’S DEMEANOR LIGHT AND TRUST IN THE SHARED SPACE.

SEBASTIAN WOULD NEVER HURT YOU, YOU MUST TRUST IN THAT. HE LIVES BY A CODE.

IT IS THAT CODE THAT HAS SUSTAINED HIM THIS LONG.

CEDRIC

HE AND VLAD GO WAY BACK, RIGHT?

MIRIAM

INDEED.

CEDRIC

IS HE A DREAMER?

MIRIAM

I DON’T KNOW. IT’S A TERMINOLOGY VLAD HAS ONLY STARTED TO USE RECENTLY, SO I REALLY CAN’T TELL YOU.

CEDRIC

I DIDN’T REALIZE…

MIRIAM

I DON’T REALLY KNOW OF THIS DREAM.

CEDRIC

MAYBE YOU COULD YET BE TRAINED TO SEE IN IT.

MIRIAM

PERHAPS.


I hoped I had not hit a nerve, she was a good friend and I did not want to offend.

MIRIAM

IT IS LIKE THE DREAMS WE HAD WHEN WE WERE MORTAL, SAY CHILDREN, EVEN?

CEDRIC

IT IS LIKE THAT AND MORE.

MIRIAM

DOES IT COME TO YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS DURING DAYSLEEP?

CEDRIC

YES, AND IT PROVIDES REPRIEVE FROM THE VOID.

MIRIAM

PERHAPS WE WILL SEE SOMETIME IF I AM CAPABLE OF TRAVERSING YOUR DREAM.


I bid her adieu. We did not say a lot to each other, but what we did was pleasant and informative. But I, as a fledgling, had no hope of extracting a personal anecdote from her on the subject of her acquaintance with the Vampire Sebastian Eriksson. We were still new to each other and the awkwardness sometimes shone through.

At any rate, there was no purpose to gossip. I had about forty-five minutes to prepare for his visit. I decided to work out. The meditation would do me well. I had brought over some equipment from the Marscapone’s stores and enjoyed using it from time to time. I believed it made a difference in my general alertness and fitness. It was like the thrill of the Hunt.

But my mind was blank–what was I to say to Sebastian? I was simply the new mate to his ex-wife. We had a shared acquaintance in Vlad. We were both vampires. What else did we have in common?

Tzu. Tzu Prano. She was like a little sister to me. Now she lived in L.A. with Sebastian. I wasn’t so sure mentioning her was the best way to start off on a good footing.

The time continued to tick by.

Sebastian was highly esteemed by everyone he had dealings with. I had to be careful not to offend him.

I stopped my exercise routine. He would be here any moment.

And suddenly my thoughts were filled with Svetlana. How I’d never see her again, not in this world, and that this conversation with Sebastian was the closest I could come to looking upon her face again.

My idle thoughts left me in want. I kept thinking maybe there was a chance we could bring her back. But I pushed the hope out of mind because I knew it was impossible. I was solidly in denial. I could not truly internalize the fact that she could not return to this Earth. I found myself thinking that I had so much to tell her the next time I was to see her… But that would be a long time and mine was not to ask “why”.

My thoughts ceased when I heard the doorbell ring. He had arrived.

I walked steadily from my lair to reach the front door. With a deep breath in, more of a habit than a necessity, I opened the door.

Standing in front of me is a dark-haired man with all the bearing of a fairytale prince. His eyes are bright blue and vibrant, his skin, too, fresh with the blush of life. He did not smile, nor was his face contorted into a frown, rather he just seemed extraordinarily comfortable. His face was unmarked, free from worry lines or any sort of indication that his mind worked in any similar manner to that of a mortal’s.

By the laws of polite behavior, I was obligated to speak first.

CEDRIC

WELCOME.

SEBASTIAN

NICE TO SEE YOU, CEDRIC.

I SEE VLAD HAS YOU GUARDING THE VATORE PLACE.

CEDRIC

LILITH VACATED A WHILE BACK, AND CALEB…

SEBASTIAN

YEAH, I HEARD.

CEDRIC

I CAN’T BELIEVE HE WOULD BETRAY US.

SEBASTIAN

I CAN.

LOVE MAKES ONE DO STRANGE, ILLOGICAL THINGS.

CEDRIC

UGH, IT’S DISGUSTING TO IMAGINE –

SEBASTIAN

WHAT, TRENTE GAGARIN?

CEDRIC

SHE’S A SENSELESS ZEALOT.

SEBASTIAN

CAREFUL AT MISJUDGING YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

OF COURSE SHE SEEMS UNHINGED FROM WHERE YOU’RE STANDING.

CEDRIC

YEAH WELL I HAVE A LOW TOLERANCE FOR BULLSHIT.

SHE COULD JOIN US.

SEBASTIAN

HIGHLY UNLIKELY.

BUT I DON’T THINK YOU CALLED ME HERE TO TALK ABOUT TRENTE GAGARIN.

CEDRIC

NOT THIS TIME, NO.

BUT PLEASE, COME IN AND TAKE A LOAD OFF.


I move aside to let him through. Of course he was taller than me, something I didn’t often encounter. As my attention was drawn inward, I heard Miriam descend the stairs.

She was, or seemed to be, effortlessly feminine. Her hair fell in delicate, asymmetric curls about her face. It was the color of pitch and reflected white in the light, as if carefully polished. She nearly always wore skirts and dresses, but just because it suited her, rather than conforming to any pre-existing model. Her legs were the first thing to observe as she came down to greet us. Unclad, except for the contribution of a splash of color from the tights, they stuck out from above a set of tall combat boots. But they soon sunk to their proper height as she progressed through the stairs.

MIRIAM

GOOD EVENING, SEBASTIAN.

SEBASTIAN

AND A GOOD EVENING IT IS TO LOOK UPON YOUR EYES FOR ANOTHER NIGHT.


He bowed down graciously, with all the majesty of royalty, and kissed the lady’s hand. It was a scene out-of-time, or at the very least, from a fairytale storybook.

MIRIAM

OH SEBASTIAN.

YOU ARE TOO MUCH.


For my own sake, I was simply content to observe. These two had been friends in Straud, through Straud, for Straud, for, what I could reckon, was at least seven, eight centuries. Possibly more. I was nothing compared to them. And yet, they allowed me to witness their greeting. Maybe someday I’d feel what I desired most – to be as their equal.

MIRIAM

FORGIVE ME IF I’M A BIT SPACEY – I WAS JUST WORKING ON A NEW PIECE OF MINE. I HAVEN’T YET TITLED IT.


Suddenly, a memory came flooding back to me. I was at Svetlana’s flat, looking at the paintings on the wall. I had asked about one, a portrait of a snowbound cabin set into a hill. She had told me that the work was done by Sebastian when their daughters had been young. He’d gone through a particularly creative period.

I’d felt the uncomfortable rise of jealousy as I viewed his work. Each brushstroke was impeccably placed such that it hardly looked like a painting. It betrayed the serenity that was, apparently, Sebastian’s mind. It was a stark reminder of my youth and relative distance from Golconda.

MIRIAM

CEDRIC?


Apparently I had left the conversation while traversing my memory. I blinked.

CEDRIC

YEAH, SORRY, I’M HERE.

TRAVELING THE DREAM.


Sebastian continued to look me over.

MIRIAM

WELL, I SHOULD GET BACK TO MY WORK.

PLEASE EXCUSE ME.


And like that, she was gone as soon as she’d entered. I felt a sudden chill, as if a sumptuous blanket had been ripped from my person.

SEBASTIAN

PERHAPS WE SHOULD RETIRE TO THE SITTING ROOM?

IT WAS ALWAYS MY FAVORITE PLACE IN THIS HOUSE.

CEDRIC

OF COURSE.


Besides several comfortable couches, the room boasted a pipe organ. I knew the basics but nothing to write home about.

Sebastian sat at the organ. I took up a seat on one of the couches. Facing the keys, he spoke.

SEBASTIAN

WHY DID YOU CALL ME HERE?


I froze. It came as no surprise that he was so forward.

CEDRIC

VLAD IS TRAINING ME IN THE WAYS OF BLOOD SORCERY.

SEBASTIAN

IT IS GOOD HS IS.

HE SEES A GREAT DEAL OF POTENTIAL IN YOU.

YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR THE TIME HE SPENDS ON YOUR DEVELOPMENT.

CEDRIC

WELL, THEREIN LIES PART OF THE PROBLEM.

I’M NOT MAKING VERY MUCH PROGRESS.

SEBASTIAN

ARE THOSE YOUR WORDS OR HIS?

CEDRIC

I HAVE A BLOCK I’M TRYING TO OVERCOME.

SEBASTIAN

AND YOU THINK SVETLANA IS BLOCKING YOU?

CEDRIC

MY UNRESOLVED FEELINGS.

I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE.

SEBASTIAN

SHE AND I PARTED MANY YEARS AGO.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO CONTRIBUTE.

CEDRIC

I GET THE IMPRESSION THAT SHE WAS DIFFERENT WHEN SHE WAS WITH YOU.

BEFORE THE SICKNESS REALLY TOOK HOLD.

SEBASTIAN

I DIDN’T KNOW THAT SHE WAS SICK THEN.

IF ONLY I’D HAVE KNOWN THAT WHAT I SAW WERE THE EARLY HALLMARKS OF HER DETERIORATION.

IT WAS ONLY LATER THAT VLAD PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER.

CEDRIC

WHAT DID YOU THINK IT WAS?

SEBASTIAN

AN INCOMPATIBILITY OF OUR ANIMAL ANCESTORS.

A MATCH ILL-SUITED TO OUR ZODIAC SIGNS, IF YOU WILL.

THE FACT THAT WE BORE CHILDREN DID NOT PROVE OUR GENETIC MATERIAL WAS SOMETHING WORTH PRESERVING INTO THE MODERN AGE.

CEDRIC

PERHAPS IT MEANS YOUR CURSE ORIGINATES DIFFERENTLY THAN WE PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT.

LIKE MYSELF.

SEBASTIAN

IT IS CURIOUS THAT YOUR ABILITY TO DAYWALK ORIGINATES IMPLICITLY.

A NECESSITY OF YOUR EXISTENCE.

SOME OF US HAD TO WORK FOR LIFETIMES TO MANIFEST SUCH A POWER.

VINCENT MARSCAPONE IS A POWERFUL VAMPIRE, PERHAPS IT HAS TO DO WITH HIS MENTORSHIP OVER YOU.

I AM NOT SO EASILY CONVINCED THAT SUCH AN IMMUNITY COULD BE BESTOWED BY HEDGE WIZARDRY.


I was stunned. I had never really thought about it before and here he was entering in an amendment to my backstory.

SEBASTIAN

IS IT POSSIBLE, WITH YOUR RECOLLECTION OF EVENTS?

CEDRIC

I… UH.

I SUPPOSE.


It was as if someone had wedged a pebble underneath my fingernail. I had come here to speak of Svetlana.

SEBASTIAN

VLAD IS TRAINING YOU, IS HE NOT?

CEDRIC

YES, HE IS.

SEBASTIAN

TRUST IN THE PROCESS.

BE CAREFUL; YOU ONLY SWING YOUR SWORD ONCE.

DO NOT FORGET THAT.

WE TRAIN COUNTLESS TIMES FOR JUST THE ONE MOMENT IT MATTERS.

I AM NOT SO SURE YOUR BLOCK HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER.

CEDRIC

YOU THINK IT’S CHRONIC?

SEBASTIAN

WHATEVER THE DREAM IS, BE IT A DIFFERENT PLANE OR PHASE…

YOUR ABILITY TO PULL MAGICAL ENERGIES FROM IT HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH THE DEATH OF SVETLANA.

I THINK IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH HOW YOUR CURSE SET IN.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD DO MORE INVESTIGATION INTO THIS MYSTERIOUS SCROLL THAT CURSED YOU TO LIE OUTSIDE OUR FAMILY LINES OF INHERITANCE.

CEDRIC

BUT THE DREAM KEPT SHOWING ME IMAGES OF HER.

SEBASTIAN

WHO IS TO SAY WHY YOU ARE EXPERIENCING VISIONS?

THAT IS TO SAY, YOU CONTINUE TO EXPERIENCE THESE VISIONS?

CEDRIC

THEY ARE FAINTER EXPRESSIONS THAN THEY USED TO BE.

MAYBE IT’S NOT ABOUT HER.

BUT I WANTED IT TO BE; I WANTED ANYTHING ABOUT HER TO MATTER, AS IF I COULD STILL REACH OUT AND TOUCH HER AGAIN.

SEBASTIAN

I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

I OFTEN LONG FOR THE CHANCE TO HELP HER MORE WHEN SHE STARTED TO DECLINE.

OUR TIME TOGETHER WENT BY SO QUICKLY.

BUT THERE ARE NO EXCUSES AND REGRETS ARE TIRED THOUGHTS.


There was a pause, and I could have said something, but I thought of nothing useful to say.

SEBASTIAN

WERE YOU ABLE TO CONJURE THE ELEMENTS IN YOUR LIFE AS A MAGE?

CEDRIC

I COULD CONJURE WATER AS EASILY AS ANYONE.

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING HOW LATE I STARTED.

SEBASTIAN

BUT YOU CAN’T APPROACH IT THE SAME WAY.

AS FAR AS THE PRIME MATERIAL PLANE IS CONCERNED, YOU AREN’T THE SAME CREATURE.

CEDRIC

THAT’S WHAT VLAD’S SAID.

SEBASTIAN

YOUR AVATAR DIED ON THE NIGHT YOU WERE TAKEN.

MAGEBLOOD SHOULD HAVE MADE YOU IMMUNE TO THE CURSE, BUT FOR YOU, IT WAS NOT TO BE.

IT’S THE FIRST TIME YOU ARE TEARING REALITY WITHOUT YOUR AVATAR’S ASSISTANCE.

THE KINDRED TEAR REALITY BY CHANNELING DARK ENERGIES FROM WITHIN.

I DO NOT THINK YOU WILL FIND IT TOO MUCH DIFFERENT THAN YOUR PREVIOUS LIFE, BUT WHO KNOWS?

I AM SORRY YOU DO NOT HAVE THE BOON OF AN AVATAR.


I opened my mouth to speak but he raised his hand to silence me.

SEBASTIAN

PLEASE DON’T THINK YOU NEED TO SAY ANYTHING TO ME ON THE SUBJECT.

AFTER A DECADE WITH A MAGE BY MY SIDE, I KNOW ALL I NEED TO KNOW OF THE MAGIC–BLISSFULLY NOTHING.

HOW CAN I MAKE SURE THAT YOU THINK BACK ON OUR VISIT FAVORABLY.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, CEDRIC?

CEDRIC

CAN THE OLD MAN CONJURE WATER?

SEBASTIAN

HE CAN DO ALL THAT AND MORE.

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE’LL SHOW THAT FEAT TO YOU.

BESIDES, THERE IS NOTHING HE CAN SHOW YOU THAT WOULD HELP WITH YOUR BLOCK.

BESIDES WHICH, VLAD –


I interrupted him and immediately regretted it.

CEDRIC

AN ALIEN?


Sebastian blinked, looking nonplussed at my outburst.

SEBASTIAN

WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?

CEDRIC

HE DID EVERYTHING SHORT OF TELLING ME HIMSELF – ONCE HE MENTIONED A PLACE HE CALLED HIS HOMEWORLD.

I DO NOT KNOW IF IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

SEBASTIAN

VLAD DOES NOT MAKE ERRORS SUCH AS THAT.

HE USES HIS WORDS VERY CAREFULLY.

KEEP WHATEVER HE SAID CLOSE TO YOUR HEART.

HE THINKS A LOT OF YOU AND MANDARC, BELIEVES YOU HAVE A GREAT DESTINY TO FULFILL IN THE COMING DAYS.

DO NOT BETRAY HIS TRUST.

CEDRIC

WHY WOULD I BETRAY HIM?

FOR WHAT AND TO WHOM?

SEBASTIAN

I DO NOT KNOW BUT I THOUGHT IT PRUDENT TO PROVIDE MY WORDS OF WARNING.

HE DOES NOT EASILY FORGIVE.

HE MAY WELCOME YOU BACK BECAUSE HE DOES NOT QUICKLY FORGET.

JUST… BE CAREFUL.