Original Airdate: July 7, 1966

VICTORIA

MY NAME IS VICTORIA WINTERS.

IN THE SHORT TIME I’VE BEEN HERE, COLLINWOOD HAS MADE ME A PART OF ITS STRANGENESS.

STRANGENESS THAT SEEMS TO REACH OUT AND TOUCH EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING THAT LIVES WITHIN ITS WALLS.

FOR THE PAST CAN BE A PRISON, NOT ONLY FOR ME, BUT FOR OTHERS.

FOR ALL THOSE DRIVEN BY FEARS OF THE FUTURE.

Bill Malloy is the first person we see in this episode, and he's making a call for Burke Devlin's room at the Collinsport Inn. But Burke hangs up on him, refusing his call for a visit.

He then shows up at Collinwood, insisting to E.S. that it's "a lot more important than cleaning a teapot!" Hah. Also, he calls E.S. by the nickname "Liz" making him possibly the first character in the show to do so. I would say it betrays the closeness that the two of them share.

He's brought over some contracts for "Liz" to sign. But surely that's not the only reason he's here. He lets his secretary Alice know that he'll be here for about a half-hour. That's call-forwarding for you.

Ah, so he is here to speak about Burke Devlin. But Carolyn interrupts them.

CAROLYN

HELLO BILL.

HOW ARE THINGS AT THE FISH FACTORY?

BILL

SWIMMING ALONG, PRINCESS, JUST SWIMMING ALONG.

Since the cat's out of the bag about Burke, Carolyn asks about him and Bill delivers the simple fact that she's met him already; he's the one who broke up the fight last night.

Carolyn couldn't be more pleased.

CAROLYN

I’VE BEEN HEARING NOTHING BUT BURKE DEVLIN’S NAME AROUND HERE FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS.

UNTIL IT’S UP TO HERE.

BUT WITH ALL OF IT, THERE’S ONE THING NO ONE EVER MENTIONED.

BILL

WHAT’S THAT?

CAROLYN

HOW GOOD LOOKING HE IS!

BILL

OUT!

LIKE YOUR MOTHER SAYS.

The two discuss how much they'd like to see Carolyn leave the house. Bill seems to be on board with the supernatural dangers of Collinwood, and he's just as adamant as Elizabeth about Carolyn leaving the house.

But Elizabeth still won't admit there are ghosts at Collinwood.

Bill turns the topic back to the living danger of Burke.

ELIZABETH

BURKE WENT TO PRISON BECAUSE HE COMMITTED A CRIME.

BILL

DID HE?

ELIZABETH

… YES.

BILL

ARE YOU SAYING, YOU AREN’T AFRAID OF HIM?

ELIZABETH

YES.

BILL

LIZ, I LIKE YOU.

I THINK YOU’RE THE GREATEST WOMAN ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH.

ELIZABETH

WHY?

BECAUSE I’M NOT AFRAID OF BURKE DEVLIN?

BILL

BECAUSE YOU PLANT YOUR FEET FIRM ON THE DECK WHEN A GALE BLOWS.

BILL

BECAUSE YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND DAMN THE DEVIL BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO RUN SCARED.

WELL LIZ, WE’LL STOP ‘EM.

YOU AND ME.

NO MATTER WHAT BURKE TRIES TO DO.

Vicki is a leftie, huh?

Carolyn knocks on the door and then bursts in, complaining about Vicki locking the door. Well, Carolyn, if you didn't think you owned the place, maybe I wouldn't have to!

She shares the history of Widows' Hill, stating that it's 100 ft. from the edge to the bottom, and that three people have killed themselves on the hill, first Josette, then two governesses. Gee, thanks Carolyn! I could have lived without that lovely piece of information.

CAROLYN

JOE HASKELL WAS HERE AGAIN TODAY.

ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME.

OH VICKI, I LOVE JOE, BUT AS SOON AS HE MENTIONS MARRIAGE, PANIC SETS IN.

I START TO SHAKE.

VICTORIA

YOU’VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE.

CAROLYN

BUT I DON’T THINK IT’S EVER GOING TO CHANGE, VICKI.

THAT’S WHAT I’M REALLY AFRAID OF.

And then she gets in to the meat of why she's here.

CAROLYN

TELL ME ABOUT BURKE DEVLIN.

Yeah, there's that face. Yeah, boy, Carolyn. You really love Joe Haskell while you're asking about Burke, the bad boy who's come to bring ruin to your family. Please, go on!

BILL

HE WAS A HUNGRY MAN TEN YEARS AGO, BEFORE ALL THE TROUBLE BEGAN.

I THINK IF HE COULD HAVE, HE WOULD HAVE GRABBED THE WORLD TEN MINUTES AFTER HE WAS BORN.

BILL

AND THE WAY I HAVE HIM FIGURED, UNTIL BURKE DEVLIN OWNS THE COLLINS FISHING FLEET, AND THE COLLINS CANNERY AND THE COLLINS HOUSE, HE’S GOING TO CONSIDER HIMSELF A POOR MAN.

AND THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO FACE.

A mysterious knock comes to the door, but no one's there. We all thought it was Burke, right? I know I did.

ELIZABETH

THERE WAS NO ONE THERE, BILL.

AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE TEACUPS WAS SHATTERED.

BILL

WELL HOW’D THAT HAPPEN?

ELIZABETH

POLTERGEIST OF COURSE.

EVIL, MISCHEIVOUS SPIRITS.

COLLINWOOD IS FAMOUS FOR ITS GHOSTS, YOU KNOW.

EXCEPT THIS ONE IS NINE YEARS OLD AND IS NAMED DAVID.

Oh man, throw your nephew under the bus!

CAROLYN

OH VICKI.

YOU KNOW BURKE DEVLIN THREATENED TO PADDLE ME LAST NIGHT?

I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS HIM UNTIL JUST A MINUTE AGO.

I BET HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT TOO.

VICTORIA

THAT’S HARDLY A RECOMMENDATION.

CAROLYN

MAYBE NOT.

BUT A MAN LIKE THAT IS WORTH A SECOND LOOK, DON’T YOU THINK?

The rest of this episode drags on a little bit, with Elizabeth and Bill trying a ploy to get Carolyn out of town, but it falls flat on their face. Nothing is going to dissuade the "princess" from chasing after Burke Devlin.

BILL

YOU’RE STUBBORN, PRINCESS.

STUBBORN AS YOUR MOTHER.

And as we all saw coming, Carolyn phones Burke Devlin and asks whether she could come up to see him. Oh boy, what she's getting into. Anyone notice that this dude literally has the word "devil" in his name? I mean come on! Overall a decent episode, and I'm coming to appreciate Bill Malloy a great deal. I don't know if they're trying to 'ship him and Liz but I wouldn't entirely be opposed.

★★★☆