The following is set to the tune of “That Don’t Impress Me Much” by Shania Twain.

I’ve healed a few toons who thought they were pretty leet
but you seem to think your deeps just can’t be beat
You think you’re the reason all these mobs’ll fall
Your bag’s all full but still no free-for-all

O-o-oh, your spec is standard
O-o-oh, beta AoE farm

OK, so your blizz gotta freeze.

That spam won’t kill when it’s clutch
So you got to max but you still got that crutch
Now I ain’t no fool, yeah I know it takes two
but this curse he threw’s some nasty residue
That spam won’t kill when it’s clutch

Uh-huh, yeah…

I know that cappin’ hit is the mission on your docket
and a summon’s a comin’ from the cave
and all those totems at the stairs cause your pulse to skyrocket
‘cause d’scripted wave’s what you crave

O-o-oh, no time to dawdle
O-o-oh, no time for play

OK, so you’ve downed Rag.

That fact won’t help us go dutch
So you’ve got a blade, but it’s a spade as such
Now I ain’t no fool, yeah I know it takes two
But purps won’t rank you up when you need the how-to
That spam won’t kill when it’s clutch

Yeah!

You’re the first one who dies to a rain of pain
You cite the lack of hots but that free stone’s still green
I can’t believe your binds are one through nine
Come on, cutie, tell me, you must be drinkin’ wine?

[…repeats…]