leaked memorandum addressed to his followers. yours, avael

My Friends,

Another BRUTAL slaying of owr own. Bobbie Cummings will no longer grace the night with her warmth. A vicious slaying at the hands of the LIAR: Mandarc Soo. Bobbie, a fresh-faced young private with her life ahead of her, Bobbie was on a routine scouting mission when she was lured away by the ENEMY’s consort, the cheap CONJURER: Friday Perkins. The trick was that the magician claimed she needed her ancient computer fixed. (Dastardly, underhanded, beneath the belt!) Once inside their hovel, she was assaulted by the ENEMY’s mind-corrupting magic and tackled by Perkins. There, they force-fed the young private a deadly homeopathic poison. She will never again know the rush of sanguine satisfaction. To add INSULT, the pair stole … and it’s too gruesome to mention here … but the only memory she’d have of her former glory, her ‘TEETH’, and what a beautiful set she’d had on her. Last inspection had her at well above-average, WHAT A PITY. Now she walks a hollow life among the Mortals … yes my friends, the traitor is duly following in the steps of the BETRAYER and should we not call them all STRAUD’S C(ow)ARD as once they’ve assaulted our belov’ds with their witch serum they leave them ‘aliiiive’ to live as husks, walking this HELL as the PUNISHED and FORGOTTEN. TELL ME MY FRIENDS WHY, why, why, why the COWARDS have been instructed to leave these victims to suffer damnation and why do none of them have the BRAVERY to DO THE RIGHT THING AND SHOOT THE DOG?