KEVIN 011: Programming
It’s been a long weekend of television watching. I’ve run my tongue over my gum a hundred times wishing the return of my teeth but my prayers have been left unanswered.
The television seems to be my only friend in this desolate place. It is a window into the world of the Mortals that I’ve never before known. I wondered, as I lost myself in my only solace, what it would be to walk among them.
My thoughts are interrupted by the whirring of the automatic door.
It is Autumn, my assigned nurse.
AUTUMN
GOOD MORNING, KEVIN.
Her voice is slightly dampened, as if she’s in a foul mood.
KEVIN
GOOD MORNING.
She bears a tray of food. Another solemn feast of bland food. I had never imagined how much I could long for Mother’s conjurations.
AUTUMN
YOU HAVE SCRAMBLED EGGS AND A BANANA AND TOAST.
Someone had put in for my meals to be easily masticated. Not sure how easily toast fit into this requirement but with my current lack of freedom, I’d just have to give it my best shot.
KEVIN
YOU CAN PUT IT DOWN ON THE TABLE.
Enclosed in the room was a small table and chair I took to imply a desk. But I had no paper nor pen so I used it only to eat. Of course, I took most of my meals on the modest bunk set opposite the television.
AUTUMN
HOW ARE YOU SLEEPING?
KEVIN
WELL ENOUGH, THOUGH I FIND THE PLACE RATHER COLD.
ANOTHER BLANKET WOULD DO ME WELL.
AUTUMN
I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
ANYTHING TO MAKE YOUR STAY COMFORTABLE.
I expected that if I did not accept Trelaine’s offer of allegiance that I would be here for a long time.
KEVIN
WHAT ABOUT SOME WRITING IMPLEMENTS?
AUTUMN
I CAN LOOK INTO IT.
BUT YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED PENS.
KEVIN
NO PENS? WHY?
AUTUMN
THE METALS.
IT’S A SECURITY RISK.
KEVIN
A METAL PEN NIB?
WHAT AM I TO DO WITH THAT?
AUTUMN
IT’S A PRECAUTION TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF ALL OF OUR GUESTS.
KEVIN
OTHER PEOPLE?
YOU MEAN THERE ARE OTHERS HERE LIKE ME?
I had neither seen nor heard of anyone but the employees of this prison.
AUTUMN
WE NEVER KNOW WHO WILL NEED TO TAKE SHELTER IN OUR FACILITY.
KEVIN
I DON’T INTEND TO DO ANYONE ANY HARM.
AUTUMN
IT IS NOT JUST YOU.
WE ALSO WANT TO ENSURE YOUR SAFETY.
The memory of being assaulted with the chemical spray floods back to my mind. They were the only ones so far that had done me harm.
AUTUMN
SOME PEOPLE COME HERE OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL.
WE PLEDGE TO HELP THEM BECOME THEIR BEST SELVES.
KEVIN
I DON’T BELIEVE THERE IS SUCH A THING AS FREE WILL WHEN A VAMPIRE IS INVOLVED.
AUTUMN
THE DOCTOR DOESN’T FORCE ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING THEY DON’T WANT TO DO.
HE SIMPLY MAKES THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE AND HELPS SHOO AWAY THEIR FEARS.
IT IS HIS HOPE TO CURE THEM OF THEIR MORTALITY.
KEVIN
AT WHAT COST?
AUTUMN
COST IS OF NO CONCERN TO THE DOCTOR.
HE IS ABLE TO GIVE WITHOUT A THOUGHT OF RENUMERATION.
KEVIN
I WISH I COULD BELIEVE THAT HE TRULY WANTED TO HELP HUMANITY.
AUTUMN
HE DOES, KEVIN.
ALL YOU NEED DO IS OPEN YOUR HEART.
Her words disgust me.
KEVIN
“OPEN MY HEART”?
MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT MY HEART WHEN YOU ATTACKED ME UNDER HIS ORDER.
But she doesn’t respond to my complaint.
AUTUMN
THEN PERHAPS YOU SHOULD OPEN YOUR EYES.
YOUR FAMILY ISN’T COMING FOR YOU.
AND EVEN IF THEY WERE, THEY AREN’T ABLE TO GET HERE.
THIS IS YOUR NEW LIFE.
WE ARE YOUR FAMILY NOW.
WE, UNLIKE YOUR PARENTS, HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART.
KEVIN
SO MUCH FOR “GUESTS”.
AUTUMN
YOU ARE OUR GUEST SO LONG AS YOU REFUSE THE DOCTOR’S OFFER.
KEVIN
SO YOU KNOW, THEN.
AUTUMN
I KNOW THAT THE DOCTOR HAS MADE YOU AN OFFER YOU’D BE A FOOL TO REFUSE.
KEVIN
WHY DON’T YOU TAKE HIM UP THEN?
IF IT’S A VAMPIRE THAT HE WANTS, WHY DOESN’T HE JUST CONVERT YOU?
AUTUMN
YOU ARE A RARE BREED – A NATURAL VAMPIRE.
ONE THAT CONFORMS TO THE LAWS OF BIOLOGY.
KEVIN
I’M NOT A VAMPIRE.
AUTUMN
THAT’S NOT WHAT THE DOCTOR CLAIMS.
YOU DO NOT MANIFEST THE USUAL MARKERS BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUNG.
BUT GIVE IT TIME AND YOU TOO WILL JOIN THE RANKS OF THE IMMORTAL.
KEVIN
I TRULY DOUBT IT.
But something in the woman rebels.
AUTUMN
AND WITH WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU REFUTE HIS CLAIM?
KEVIN
THE UNDEAD ARE MADE, NOT BORN.
AUTUMN
THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE MISTAKEN.
THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF UNDEATH IS A SUPERSTITION CREATED BY THE IMMORTALS TO TRY TO GRASP THAT WHICH THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND.
YOU ARE NOT UNDEAD.
KEVIN
I SURE HOPE NOT.
AUTUMN
THE DOCTOR BELIEVES YOU’LL CHANGE AS PUBERTY SETS IN.
KEVIN
PERHAPS MY MOTHER AND FATHER KNOW MY FATE.
AUTUMN
WE BELIEVE THEY ARE JUST AS UNSURE AS WE ARE.
REGARDLESS, WE WON’T BE CONSULTING THEM.
KEVIN
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD ONCE THEY GET HERE.
I’ve set her temper alight.
AUTUMN
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?
THEY ARE UNABLE TO ENTER THIS PLANE.
KEVIN
WELL, THERE SEEMS TO BE PLENTY OF THINGS THAT YOU DON’T KNOW.
PERHAPS THIS IS ONE OF THEM.
She seems to be taking extra precautions to steady her impatience.
AUTUMN
KEVIN, YOUR MOTHER IS NO EXCEPTIONAL MAGE.
SHE PALES AGAINST THE FEATS WORKED BY THE DAUGHTERS OF THE EASTERN FAMILIES.
WHETHER BY POTENTIAL OR LACK OF TRAINING, HER SKILLS ARE LACKLUSTER.
SHE CANNOT, OR WILL NOT, LEAVE HER PLANE.
KEVIN
SHE’D DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME.
AUTUMN
MAGIC OBEYS RULES.
JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE RULES DOESN’T MEAN THEY AREN’T THERE.
KEVIN
YOU’RE CLAIMING TO UNDERSTAND THOSE RULES?
AUTUMN
I UNDERSTAND WHAT I’VE BEEN TAUGHT.
KEVIN
WELL MAYBE YOUR CURRICULUM NEEDS A PRIMER ON THE ART OF DIPLOMACY.
I CAN HARDLY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN EXPECT ME TO GO ALONG WITH YOU WHEN YOU AND YOUR KIND HAVE DISPLAYED YOURSELVES AS OPENLY HOSTILE TO ME.
AUTUMN
I’M SORRY THAT WE HAD TO INFLICT PAIN UPON YOU.
BUT I HOPE YOU’LL FORGIVE US.
WE DID WHAT WE DID FOR THE LARGER WORLD AROUND US.
KEVIN
I’LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT.
There is a break in the conversation as she tries to formulate a response.
KEVIN
BESIDES, IF MY FATHER IS TRULY AS POWERFUL AS THE DOCTOR CLAIMS, THEN IT WILL BE HE WHO COMES TO MY AID.
AUTUMN
YOUR FATHER HAS BEEN IMPRISONED IN THAT PLANE FOR CRIMES BEYOND OUR UNDERSTANDING.
HE HAS ANGERED THE GODS.
SUCH A SENTENCE IS NOT QUICKLY NOR EASILY LIFTED.
KEVIN
HE’LL FIND A WAY.
AUTUMN
YOUR DEDICATION IS ADMIRABLE BUT ULTIMATELY ILL-FOUNDED.
THEY HAVE LOCKED YOU INSIDE A ROOM AND BANISHED YOU FROM THE SUNSHINE.
IT IS UNFATHOMABLE THAT YOU THINK THIS WAS DONE OUT OF LOVE.
KEVIN
PERHAPS THEY THOUGHT I WAS A VAMPIRE.
A vampire was a sort of monster, I supposed.
AUTUMN
AND WHAT OF YOUR ISOLATION FROM THE OTHER CHILDREN?
FOR YOUR PROTECTION OR THEIRS?
KEVIN
BOTH, PERHAPS.
AUTUMN
YOU HAVE MORE FAITH IN THEM THAN I MIGHT IF I WERE IN YOUR SHOES.
WHAT YOU’VE BEEN SUBJECTED TO WOULD IN THE MORTAL WORLD BE CONSIDERED CHILD ABUSE.
IT’S CRUEL AND UNUSUAL WHAT THEY’VE DONE TO YOU.
KEVIN
I’M SURE THEY HAD THEIR REASONS.
AUTUMN
THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.
WHY DIDN’T YOUR MOTHER BRING YOU UP AS A MAGE?
KEVIN
I HAVE NEVER SHOWN TO HAVE TALENT.
AUTUMN
YOU WOULD NOT BE THE FIRST, NOR THE LAST, SECRET-KEEPER.
KEVIN
PERHAPS SHE DID NOT TRUST A CHILD TO NOT BECOME MIRED IN JEALOUSY.
AUTUMN
THE DOCTOR’S WORK WOULD SEE US ALL ELEVATED TO THE STATUS OF YOUR MOTHER’S ORPHANS.
THERE WILL SOON BE NO NEED TO KEEP THE SECRET.
KEVIN
AND HOW WILL HE ACCOMPLISH THIS?
AUTUMN
ANCIENT MAGICS.
KEVIN
SO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HIS WORK.
AUTUMN
I UNDERSTAND THAT IF WE ARE LOYAL, WE WILL REAP THE REWARDS.
I TRUST HIM.
KEVIN
MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR MYSELF.
AUTUMN
YOU’D DO WELL TO RECONSIDER YOUR LOYALTY.
IF YOUR PARENTS ARE INCAPABLE OF PROTECTING THOSE IN THEIR CHARGE, THEN PERHAPS THEY DON’T DESERVE YOUR LIP-SERVICE.
KEVIN
I DON’T INTEND TO BECOME A TURNCOAT.
AUTUMN
WELL PERHAPS YOU WILL BECOME CONVINCED BY THE RULE OF POWER.
THE DOCTOR TRELAINE HAS GREAT POWERS.
MORE THAN YOUR PARENTS.
KEVIN
WE’LL SEE.
AUTUMN
YOU’D MAKE A GOOD MORTAL WITH THAT UNWAVERING FAITH.
KEVIN
I’LL TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT.
She looks around the room as if contemplating a method of escape.
AUTUMN
REGRETTABLY, I MUST INFORM YOU THAT THE DOCTOR WILL BE UNABLE TO DINE WITH YOU THIS EVENING.
KEVIN
OH?
SOME OTHER UNFORTUNATE SOUL IS GETTING HIS TEETH PLUCKED?
But the truth was that I longed for the library. And something about trying to glean the truth amongst his fantastical claims had become a glimmer of hope in the steel prison.
AUTUMN
AN URGENT MATTER HAS DRAWN HIM AWAY BUT HE WILL RETURN.
YOUR CARE IS A PRIORITY FOR HIM.
KEVIN
THEN WHY HAS HE GONE?
AUTUMN
HE HAS A GREAT MANY GOALS.
NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH IS THE ELEVATION OF ALL MANKIND.
KEVIN
INCLUDING YOURSELF.
AUTUMN
HIS LIEUTENANTS WILL BE SOME OF THE FIRST TO RECEIVE THE GIFT.
She pauses for a moment.
AUTUMN
YOU COULD BE THERE TOO, YOU KNOW.
FINALLY ABLE TO LEAVE YOUR CHILDHOOD CAGE AND WORK FEATS ONCE THOUGHT IMPOSSIBLE.
KEVIN
IF THE TALENT COMES TO ME THEN SO BE IT.
I WON’T FOLLOW A TYRANT FOR A PROMISE HE DOESN’T INTEND TO KEEP.
AUTUMN
THE DOCTOR WILL KEEP HIS PROMISES.
KEVIN
IF HE’S ABLE TO.
Autumn sighs, exasperated.
AUTUMN
YOU’RE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF BY CONTINUING TO FIGHT.
WE WANT TO HELP YOU.
KEVIN
YOU WANT TO USE ME.
JUST AS HE USES YOU.
AUTUMN
I SERVE OF MY OWN FREE WILL.
KEVIN
I RESIST OF MY OWN FREE WILL.
BUT I DO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TRUE FREE WILL WHEN MET WITH AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE FORCE.
AUTUMN
THE DOCTOR TREATS US WITH EVERY CONSIDERATION.
I FOLLOW HIM BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO.
KEVIN
THEN YOU’RE JUST AS DELUDED AS THE REST OF THEM.
AUTUMN
YOU WISH I WAS DELUDED.
Her remark has an irreverent mirth that startles me.
AUTUMN
WHAT EVIL ARE YOU SO CONVINCED HE WILL UNLEASH INTO THE WORLD?
DO YOU ASCRIBE TO PRETENTIONS OF PROTECTING BLOOD PURITY?
THE HIDDEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD KEPT WITHIN YOUR CRUEL FAMILIES?
OR PERHAPS YOU DON’T WANT TO SHARE YOUR GIFT OF ETERNAL LIFE WITH OTHERS.
IT’S SELFISH OF YOU BUT YOU’RE ENTITLED TO A CHILD’S VIEWPOINT.
I did not like her insulting my age. Of all the things I felt in this terrible place, young was not one of my feelings. In fact, I felt important and valuable as they seemed to want my loyalty above and beyond my submission.
KEVIN
IT IS NOT OUR PLACE TO SHARE PROMETHEUS’ FLAME.
THE TORCH IS NOT OURS TO GIVE.
IT IS A NATURAL PROCESS THAT WE SHOULD NURTURE BUT NOT FORCE.
AUTUMN
SO YOU’RE A MAGE SUPREMACIST.
I SUPPOSE YOU BELIEVE IN ‘SEPARATE BUT EQUAL’ TOO.
KEVIN
I BELIEVE THE GIFT COMES TO THOSE WHO DESERVE IT.
AUTUMN
YOU’RE UPSET THAT YOUR MOTHER’S TALENT DIDN’T COME TO YOU.
Always, these people. So direct and personal.
KEVIN
I’VE HAD TIME TO ACCEPT MY FATE.
AUTUMN
IT’S PROBABLY JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE A MALE.
IN THE RELEVATION, YOU AND THOSE LIKE YOU WILL SEE YOUR POWERS GROW IN WAYS YOU CAN HARDLY IMAGINE.
KEVIN
I DON’T ACCEPT GIFTS GIVEN BY TYRANTS.
AUTUMN
THE DOCTOR IS AS FAR AS ONE CAN GET FROM BEING A TYRANT.
HIS GOALS WOULD SEE EACH MAN AND WOMAN CAPABLE OF SEIZING THEIR OWN DESTINY.
NO LONGER HELD DOWN BY THE INVISIBLE THUMB OF THE CAPABLE.
KEVIN
THE WORLD WOULD BE SUNK INTO CHAOS AND LAWLESSNESS.
VIOLENCE WOULD ENSUE AS THE NEWLY EMPOWERED GAPE AT POWERS THEY BARELY UNDERSTAND.
AUTUMN
MAYBE A LITTLE VIOLENCE IS WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS.
THEY DESERVE THE TRUTH ABOUT THE WORLD THEY LIVE IN.
JUST AS YOU DESERVED THE TRUTH.
KEVIN
WILL YOU BIND AND GAG THEM TOO?
AUTUMN
IF THAT IS WHAT IT TAKES TO SHOW THEM THE GLORY OF THE FUTURE.
BUT I DO NOT THINK MANY WILL RESIST.
MOST PEOPLE ARE LIKE ME; CURIOUS, HOPEFUL, AND DESPERATE FOR POWER OVER THEIR LIVES.
THE DOCTOR WILL GIVE US ALL THE POWER TO SEE OUR DREAMS COME TRUE.
EVERYONE DESERVES THAT POWER. THAT STRENGTH.
KEVIN
MAGIC ISN’T GODHOOD.
AUTUMN
BUT IT’S MORE THAN THE PATHETIC HAND WE’VE BEEN DEALT.
YOU’VE LIVED A LIFE IMMERSED IN MAGIC AND MIRACLES.
AND IF THE DOCTOR IS CORRECT, YOU’LL COME INTO DEATHLESSNESS JUST BY VIRTUE OF MATURING.
WOULD YOU FACE THE PEOPLES OF EARTH AND TELL THEM YOU FEEL THEY SHOULD CONTINUE TO LANGUISH AS INVALIDS?
KEVIN
IF THEY’RE LIKE YOU, EAGER TO MAKE CLAIMS OF POWER BY STEALING YOUNG PEOPLE FROM THEIR HOMES.
I’M NOT READY TO SACRIFICE A HERITAGE OF MAGIC USERS OVER A PROMISE OF A UTOPIA UPON STILTS WE DON’T FULLY UNDERSTAND.
IF IT IS SO EASY TO GIVE THE GIFT OF WIZARDRY TO EVERYONE THEN WHY HASN’T IT ALREADY BEEN DONE?
AUTUMN
ANYONE WITH A TREASURE TROVE IS INCLINED TO HOARD.
WE SIMPLY WANT TO TOPPLE THE TOWER OF GREED.
KEVIN
WHAT GODS DOES THE DOCTOR FOLLOW?
HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE YOU AREN’T PAVING THE PATH TO APOCALYPSE?
AUTUMN
THE DOCTOR WILL SEE US ALL TO ETERNAL LIFE.
IT’S TRUE THAT NOT EVERYONE WILL MAKE IT THERE BUT I HOPE YOU WON’T COUNT YOURSELF AMONG THE DETRACTORS.
KEVIN
SO YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN HIS GODS.
AUTUMN
FAITH IS A CONSTANT JOURNEY.
KEVIN
SO YOU’LL BELIEVE IT WHEN YOU SEE IT.
AUTUMN
I BELIEVE FAITH IS THE REWARD OF A LIFE OF GOOD WORKS.
KEVIN
YOU BELIEVE WHAT’S BEEN DONE TO ME IS A GOOD DEED?
AUTUMN
I BELIEVE THAT YOU’LL SOON SEE THAT WE ACT IN RIGHTEOUSNESS.
KEVIN
ZEALOUSNESS, I’LL AGREE WITH.
AUTUMN
THEN YOU ARE A GODLY PERSON?
WHAT GODS DO YOU FOLLOW?
WHAT GODS HAVE YOUR PARENTS TOLD YOU ABOUT?
KEVIN
MY PARENTS HAVE TAUGHT ME THE IMPORTANCE OF PIETY.
AUTUMN
OBEDIENCE, YOU MEAN.
KEVIN
CALL IT WHAT YOU LIKE, I UNDERSTAND SOME THINGS ARE BEYOND OUR UNDERSTANDING.
AND MAYBE THAT’S THE WAY THINGS ARE MEANT TO BE.
AUTUMN
SPOKEN LIKE A BIRD CAGED.
KEVIN
IF I TRUSTED THE DOCTOR, MAYBE I’D FEEL DIFFERENTLY.
BUT I CAN’T SHAKE THE FEELING THAT HE DOESN’T TRULY CARE ABOUT ANY OF YOU.
AUTUMN
YOU’VE BEEN HURT, AND YOUR SKEPTICISM IS TO BE EXPECTED.
BUT THINGS FOR YOU WILL IMPROVE, THAT MUCH I CAN PROMISE YOU.
KEVIN
YOU CAN PROMISE ME NOTHING BECAUSE YOU’RE JUST A PAWN IN A LARGER SCHEME.
She stands from where she had been sitting upon the room’s lone chair.
AUTUMN
ENJOY YOUR BREAKFAST, KEVIN.
I’M SORRY THE DOCTOR ISN’T AVAILABLE TO ENTERTAIN YOU TONIGHT.
I DO KNOW YOU SO LOOK FORWARD TO HIS TUTORING SESSIONS.
I’M SURE HE DOES A BETTER JOB OF PORTRAYING THE GOSPEL THAN I DO.
I HOPE SOMEDAY YOU RECOGNIZE HIS WISDOM.
KEVIN
PERHAPS IF HE DID MORE THAN LAMENT THE LOSS OF HIS HOMEWORLD.
AUTUMN
HE’S EXPERIENCED A GREAT DEAL OF LOSS IN HIS TIME.
KEVIN
HAVEN’T WE ALL.
AUTUMN
[pause]
GOOD DAY, KEVIN.
KEVIN
DOES THIS MEAN I WON’T BE ABLE TO ENJOY LIBRARY PRIVLEDGES TODAY?
She pauses, back now turned, and turns her head to face me.
AUTUMN
IT’S NOT NOTED IN YOUR FILE THAT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO WANDER THE FACILITY WITHOUT SUPERVISION.
KEVIN
YOU COULD FIND SOMEONE TO SUPERVISE ME.
THAT BRUTE THAT DRAGGED ME FROM MY HOUSE, PERHAPS.
AUTUMN
I’LL LOOK INTO IT, KEVIN.
GOOD DAY.